Silly Gurl & Silly Guy

Just being random

2011-01-25T12:21:00.004+08:00

as always.. it's been a long long time since i have blogged.

have been really busy at work, if not just lazy or don't have the mood to blog. :X

it's been quite a while since I started working once again after being unemployed for going 5-6 months. slacked too much and guess i should really buck up and look for a job! and here i am working in Edifice as a Web Developer. :)

time really passes fast unknowingly.. so fast that I'm already working in my current office going 5 months! soon it will be half a yr then a yr and it goes on and on... yea at the same time my age is catching up with me!!! :X

have been dreaming a lot.. both good and bad. have been thinking a lot too.. such as if I'm able to travel back to the past will I do it if I can change a certain facts but I would have to go through the rest of the events again for the no. of yrs i travel back to. Deep in thoughts.. and my mind tells me i will still do it that it will all be worth it. wondering when will we ever have a time machine? or everything was just meant to be?

Will be going Malaysia this time round with beloved to celebrate CNY~! :D something for a change this year. guess at the same time i'll be with her to celebrate CNY too.. :)

Seriously just hope everything goes well. God Bless~

my sad little vacation. . .

2010-07-21T22:54:00.019+08:00

have been wanting to blog about my trip to Malaysia but was yet lazy to blog about it.

anyway the trip wasn't as great as i hope it would be. i would said it was a spoiled trip or to rephrase it nicely a so-so trip. as you can see i wasn't really happy right from the beginning to the middle and to the end. =x

the trip was supposed to be from 11th July to 19th July but because of someone we end up having to return on the 17th July instead. to think that i actually packed my luggage for 7-8 days in the end the trip was only less than a week.

and that SOMEONE was the one who totally spoiled my entire trip. seriously i wonder why my bb have to give in to him all the time?! it's usually not the case which is why I'm so surprise how did it even happened. In just a day that SOMEONE has actually made my day miserable TWICE! how pathetic that is? and that's when i finally see his true colors.. it's like i have never seen that part of him before which explains why we end up traveling together. we use to travel before but maybe because it was in a bigger group or rather there was a person who could suppress him that i didn't realize he was such a 'I' person.. individualistic, idiotic, irritating.

the FIRST thing he made me unhappy was making us played lan for 2 hrs paying 30RM!
the SECOND would be making me miss eating my dim sum for the first day saying it's not filling.
the THIRD would be insisting to eat the dim sum the next day when there's already not much dim sum left to order, in the end i quarreled with bb and left the restaurant crying thank God there's Yong Ann comforting me.
the FOURTH would be during dinner he wanted to eat the budget buffet which i don't have favor in. at first me, yong ann and bb came to an agreement to eat KFC.. but because SOMEONE said he's not feeling well so bb suggested eating the budget buffet which i think it's what the SOMEONE wants to eat. but because i'm not in favor in it i suggested steamboat buffet which is also under our budget. but the SOMEONE has to be so idiotic to keep grumbling while we queue saying the queue is long when we're only the second or third in the queue. and yea because of his grumbling i end up quarreled with bb AGAIN. he just cant leave me in peace for my meals!

anyway he just seems to be in the trip to make me suffer. . .
i need another get away vacation!!! though not anywhere soon since i have been jobless for months. :((

below are pictures we took during the Malaysia trip.

Pictures taken on our first day at Segamat

Billy's Cousin Jasper & me.
p.s. he likes super heroes

bb & me :)

Little Celine and me. :D
p.s. she dislike taking pics which explains why she was hiding behind me. haha.

Jasper & Yong Ann

Jasper & Leo

Pictures taken on the second day of the trip

this building is where billy's grandparents stay. finally took a pic of it! ^^

pictures taken while we were having our breakfast eating segamat style wanton mee.. it was indeed different and delicious! :)

and here we are at one of bb's hometown supermarket. shopping for snacks and drinks! weee~

bb feeling stress? or itchy? lol.

these are the things we bought! hehs.

for lunch we went to Marrybrown. the interior of the restaurant was unique i would say. :)

in the night i finally get a chance to go to the rooftop of billy's grandparents house! after so many visits to his hometown this was my first time coming up to the roof. i have always wanted to go to a rooftop to see how it was like. :P

after visit to the rooftop we went to the grandparents' hse and were give many many durians to eat.. i didnt eat the durians though. =x

as for supper we went to this Nanyang Kopitiam..

the following morning we brought billy's grandpa to eat bah ku teh
p.s. leo as usual missed taking breakfast with us while he chooses his beauty slp.

the third day which would be the day we finally reached Genting!

me and bb's room no. 12802 :)
we booked the superior deluxe @ first world hotel... but i still prefer resort world hotel.

our room card. brand new design? ; first time seeing this design though

dear acting as a sleeping beauty in my pic! haha.

our scenery in the room. cool~

went to Kenny Roger for lunch with dear while Yong Ann and Leo sleeps. . . :)
in remembrance of our 3 yrs anniversary. . . <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_My8ngQza0zg/TEcr3lUMrsI/AAAAAAAABFI/vOOFzAfcSxU/s1600/IMG_4689.JPG">

our first and only grp pic taken.

the rest of the pics below is just random shots taken in the hotel room. :)

sweet ending of the random shots. loves. >.<
me and bb at the lover's bridge~ :)

went to Starbucks to chill before we enter the 'adult arcade'

stupid and funny pics of the guys..

bad bad days :(

2010-07-12T01:15:00.005+08:00

things just went tumbling down from the moment bb decided to go drinking last night. and it seriously couldn't get any worst. *SIGH*
just right after i accept the fact that i have to stay home once again while he goes out drinking.. i end up getting into trouble.
was totally piss and upset plus my pms it just worsen my emotions.
series of bad things just happened one after another..
just after my call with Jennifer, i was trying to get back in to bb's hse.. I then signal bb's youngest brother Randall to open the door for me.. from the window to waiting at the door. Did it several time and each time he just look at me not even moving a inch to come open the door for me. In the end I have to knock onto the window to catch some other ppl attention so as to open the door for me. ZzZ. In the living room there were bb's mum, Randall, Leo and one of bb's relative. After i finally get into the hse, i was really piss with Randall and went straight to asking him why didn't he open the door for me after i asked him to do so several times? .. and in the first place i was already upset with bb and now even his brother have to play such a prank on me.
his mum then asked why and i just told her i actually told Randall to open the door for me but he failed to do so.. after which i just walked off back to bb's room. and because of this i got into big time trouble!
got scolded really bad by bb and he even told me to pack my bag and leave his hse if i'm not happy in the hse. i was like wth? his mum actually scolded him saying i was being rude to her.. and i was like recalling how can the situation from Randall not opening the door for me to me being rude to bb's mum. and bb told me it's because i was giving a really black face while i was at the living room and his relative was asking the mum why i'm giving such a bad attitude. -.-||| how to be happy when her big son upset me and his youngest son end up upsetting me even further? and they actually expect me to be smiling gracefully at them when i walked into the living room while i was feeling really terrible inside. how fake can that be and that's totally not my style?! i end up crying bitterly with no place to hide my sadness as all the room is taken up. was really prepared to leave the hse as i do not wish to tolerate any more of this nonsense.
Got comforted by Jennifer.. and i received yet another call from bb comforting me nicely telling me to bear with the elderly being tradition and stuff. i gave in but i still felt the whole matter unjust as they still blame me for being rude. =x but i know it's impossible to ask them to understand that i was having a really bad night which was why my facial expression was 'black' and not because i want to be rude to them. *sigh*

just when i was still digesting the unjust situation last night, yet another bad thing happened to me. this time round i accidentally spilled a soya milk pearl tea while moving to the back of the car; the bag that i was carrying somehow pulled the drink out of the drink holder while i was moving to the back.. needless to say.. the mum got really mad when i spilled the drink and was nagging continuously.. in the meantime i was in a state of shock thinking i was in deep trouble again for spilling the drink.. why was it me?! i tried to clean up the mess feeling even terrible and at that moment i really wish to just call a cab instead to go to the train station and not trouble the mum any further. but it didn't happened as i just get back into the car waiting for the worst. bb's mum just kept on asking why and how did it happened and was really upset over the spill.. bb's couldn't take his mum nagging end up quarreling with her and i just kept quiet hoping the whole thing will just subside soon. i know i was wrong but i didn't get to apologize. .

mentally i seriously hope someone will understand where I'm coming from and say it's alright i understand.. it's like if i didn't cried bitterly because of the mum complaining me being rude to her when i didn't even have the intention of it.. i probably would apologize when i was given the chance to. but deep inside i felt so bitter that i just couldn't say sorry when there's a chance.
pls don't misunderstand me though, i know I'm wrong still just that i probably need time to digest my bitterness first!

i miss my home when my mum is still around. home is still the best.

currently having vacation at Malaysia, Segamat before setting off to Genting Highland!

cramps cramps go away!

Happy Weekends! :)

2010-06-28T16:50:00.009+08:00

Things finally go according to plan last weekend.

On Saturday.. manage to go Popeyes for dinner before taking a walk to the Marina Bridge with Beloved.. along with Jennifer & Chong Ee. :) After which went to watch late night movie with Jennifer @ The Cathay. . bought the tickets for the "Knight and Day" and so coincidentally saw bb's friend Li Qiang.. what's more is he actually bought the same movie and time slot as us! haha. just kinda surprise to see him at the theater and to actually watch the same movie with him. Anyway me and Jennifer were so engross in our chit chat that we didn't notice that the time was passing so quickly and we end up rushing into the cinema after buying our drink & snacks.. Thank God the movie advertisement was still running when we get in. :) I would rate the movie 4 out of 5! :D

The movie that i watched with Jennifer.. :)

On Sunday.. had dinner with my family at Wah Hoe Sea-Food as a compensation for Father's day.. we ordered Faith's Favorite dish.. ku lu yong (pork), dou miau, hotplate bean curd, butter prawn, Big black pepper crab & chilli crab! the dinner was indeed a sumptuous feast and it was x2 exp than what me and bb expected.. but bb say it was worth it cause we had joy eating this meal. Thanks Beloved Billy! :))
after dinner we went to ikea @ Tampines with my daddy! me and bb finally bought the pillows that we have been wanting to buy.. hehs.
Thanks dear for doting me! Much much appreciated. :D

below are some pictures that were taken during the weekends.

Me & BB.. with flash. :P

me & BB.. without flash.. :P

BB & Chong Ee :)

Family day with my family! :D

Faith, Patrick, Hilary, Daddy & Me! :))

Hilary, Daddy, Me & BB :D

Candid Shots.. :P

Faith & Patrick

Hilary & Daddy (V)

Me & BB ^^

Hilary, Daddy & Me

that's my happy ending for last weekend! :)

i'm loving it!

2010-06-24T17:35:00.003+08:00

a cloudy day. . :)

i love cloudy days! a tinge of wind.. and best of all not too much sunshine. . :D

had my iPhone updated with the latest software upgrade.. and the new features was awesome! was having fun exploring the whole new features. .

New features that were added. . . Home-screen wallpaper, Integrated e-mail inbox & threaded messaging, Multitasking, Home-screen app folders, New camera/imaging features. .

I like the multitasking feature the most as well as the iBooks application whereby i can read ebooks using my phone! how cool can it get?! hehs.

Thanks Apple for the great invention! now i wish that my iPhone can last as long as possible. . . :)

ytd i felt that bb was really sweet.. when both me and Leo were trying to talk to him.. he kinda tell Leo off saying my dear is talking to me. lol. find it funny as i know Leo was purposely trying to snatch bb's attention from me but in the end got tell off.. Serve him right! :P haha.. i love my bb! ^^ i wish he could always stay so sweet. . .

feeling sleepy once again.. oh my gosh. i'm sure a pig! =x wondering what job should i be searching now.. should i seek for IT jobs once again or marketing/advertising jobs or event jobs? hmm. i wonder wonder wonder. I should stop wondering though! gotta make a decision soon.

10 more days to me and bb's 3 years anniversary! can't wait for that day to arrive. . . cause it's finally 3 yrs with Beloved! loves.

May God continue to bless my friends, family and loves. :)

i'm sorry.

2010-06-20T22:34:00.005+08:00

things didn't go as what i thought we planned to be... a grey day i would say. :X

played texas holdem poker for the whole night at Jennifer's place with beloved buddies. . it seems to be the longest texas poker game we ever played as it only ended at 7am! *TIRED!* but really glad that bb finally manage to win this time round.. :)

only to reach home early in the morning.. we were being woken up ard 12pm to have 'breakfast' with bb's family.. ZzZ. thank God they go straight home after the meal! upon reaching home bb went straight for his nap and i kinda regret letting him to take his nap.. as our Ikea trip was then canceled because he chose to sleep rather than going out to Ikea... hais should have expected since he's a BIG PIG! =XXX in the end my latter plan all got screwed up badly because of his NAP! :(
had a bad tiff with bb as i was really upset knowing that i wouldn't be able to make it for my father's day dinner with my family. :(((

told my dad that i will be having dinner with him next week instead before i actually felt better but still both my sisters are disappointed that i couldn't make it. i too was really sad and disappointed. sorry Faith & Hilary! -x

in the end my latter night end up going dinner with bb's family for father's day. . . we went for Japanese cuisine and the food was really delicious with all the different variety of sushi and sashimi! .... i felt bad for the whole night though. -.-"

below are the photo we taken at the restaurant.. beloved Yan Kai light up my day/night! :)

main lead for the night. BB's dad and BB.

Beloved Yan Kai :)

BB & Yan Kai :D

Me & Beloved Yan Kai. :)

BB's Mum

Random Shots..

fulfilling talk

2010-06-17T20:43:00.004+08:00

still having self proclaimed holiday but in another month time it's going to end! =X

Finally picked myself up to start enhancing on my resume but I still feel it can be better. . gonna start looking for job by July and start working on August! a reminder to myself that "NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS, I MUST FIND A JOB BY JULY AND START WORK SOON!" have been laying off for too long.. so it's time to buck up and go back to work! :)

today got a call from sis asking if i could meet her at Lot 1 while she kill time till her next appointment. of course i agree to it since it's been so long since i actually see her and catch up with her. :D
we had a long talk... updating her life, my life and lastly a talk about my family. the family part was pretty intense, i could see she was really upset about me not having the sense of urgency to get a job. =X I could have loads of reasons or excuses of not having a job now but still i couldn't dismiss the sadness she had of me. anyway what done is done.. that is why i set a goal to find a job by July so that i could start work on August!
we also kinda made a pact to go for a Family trip to Australia in December! Hopefully everything goes well and our plan will proceed accordingly as we planned.

still enjoying honeymoon period with beloved before he goes in army on 29th of July! Can't imagine my days without him.. guess i'm going to miss him like crazy or maybe i should just divert my attention to work. Hopefully my diversion works!

Looking forward to spend time with him next week after he quit his job! so many things to be done with him before he goes in army. . loves. :)

Enjoying my holiday!

2010-05-07T13:20:00.003+08:00

have been rather busy lately though i'm jobless! lol. trying to enjoy my days to the max before i go back to the working life.. =x

everything seems to be doing fine for me. . finally felt my efforts for the past few yrs have been paid off.. getting all the sweetness from my dearest dear. :)

recently just watch Ip Man 2 with Leo and Beloved. i would say it was a great show! :D looking forward to Ip Man 3 whereby rumors say Jay Chou will be in the act! definitely going to catch it if Jay Chou is in it! :P

anyway i'm now waiting to go for my short trip before i start working once again.. and it will be sponsored by my lovely dear since we didn't manage to get Jay Chou concert tickets. =X anyway Thanks Dear in advance! :)))

*in the mood to fly kite soon~ ^^

Updates!

2010-04-22T23:15:00.003+08:00

it's been a while since i have blog.

so many things have happened that i didn't even bother blogging. My life has been in a constant coaster ride going up and down. it seems to have finally come to a stop that i finally felt more at peace to be blogging.

As i have said a lot have happened. Both good and bad. so which one should i share first? hmmmmmmm.. I should just share a common story with everyone then.

There was this silly girl who end up falling deeply in love with a silly guy. They were together for period of time till one day the silly guy felt that he is getting sick and tired of the r/s. He didn't want to initiate a breakup though as he knows that the girl didn't did anything wrong so he just continued to be with the girl. As time goes by, the urge of silly boy wanting to play as much as he can just increases day by day.

Silly boy being a honest kid have always shared all the thoughts and feelings he had with silly girl. Silly girl knowing of that silly boy is changing she decided to persevere and still continue loving silly boy.. hoping one day this seed that she sow would reap. Her love eventually touched silly boy's heart but still wasn't able to contain his strong urge to have fun out there.

Things drastically changed when one day a big fight between silly girl and silly boy broke out. Ever since that fight, silly boy felt really down.. in the school that silly boy study, there's this girl friend of his (which i would name her T.P in the story) would always try to cheer silly boy up whenever he's feeling down.. and needless to say as time goes by they gradually developed feelings for one another as they were both having happy times together while silly girl and silly guy were always having bad times.

Eventually, silly girl found out about the girl T.P when she notice silly boy and T.P has been sending message to one another almost everyday. Silly girl tried to salvage the situation but to no avail and in the end it just leads to annoy silly boy.. She became devastated.. thinking all the things that she had done for silly boy had all gone down the drain. Day by day she got so depress over the matter.. she cried almost everyday not knowing where the sadness came from. One day she couldn't take the sadness anymore and ask for silly boy to help her get through the depressing period. silly boy taking on account of the love that they once had and still cared about silly girl well being then agreed to help her get through the hard time.

During that period, silly boy treated silly girl really good hoping she would recover soon. As expected, silly girl recovered from her devastation. She become more clear minded of the surrounding things and started to pick herself up! As time goes by, things changed once again. Silly boy started to show love once again to silly girl.. but there was yet another obstacle.. it was T.P. Even so silly girl still cherish the love that silly boy was showing to her hoping that girl would back off. But of course it was silly girl wishful thinking. Silly girl then sent a courtesy note telling T.P to stop messaging silly boy everyday since silly girl and silly boy are back together. But that didn't stop T.P from continuing to message silly boy. Knowing that, silly girl then approached silly boy hoping silly boy will stop messaging T.P since T.P will not stop messaging silly boy. And that's when it finally all stopped and silly boy went to clarify with T.P telling her of his choice. The End! :)

I made this story really short and simple! too tired to write in all the details! =X anyway this story might have another version.. a matrix version created by Leo. LOL!

This week is a sick week for me. just recovered from my cold now gotten another infection. =X Hope to get well soon!

P.S: Dear God, please bless my dear at his work. Amen!

Sad day

2010-01-26T18:34:00.003+08:00

Hate myself for being so weak..
Hate myself for being affected at work because of you.
Hate myself for making mistakes..

Just can't help feeling so down.
Events of bad stuff just happens one after another. Wondering is it going to last for the whole year...

Seems that once again history repeat itself in our r/s. While randomly looking thru his phone, saw messages he had with another girl that he claimed to be good friend of his. And yes the content of the message I can sense a bit of flirting here and there which I just can't help thinking about it. Hais. Asked him and he jus said they are just good friends and nth more. But on my point of view, usually feelings are being developed through all these small actions. . Or maybe I'm jus thinking too much? I wonder..

Please let this be over soon! :(

2010-01-20T21:58:00.002+08:00

much thoughts in my mind.

it's been more than a year but once in a while i will still miss her so much..

was late for work today! laze too long in bed end up spending money on cab again. =x
thanks Dear for sending me to the bus stop though. :)

currently work load isn't that bad. waiting for the worst to come... big project, short time frame. hope everything goes smoothly this time. pass 2 projects all came back with problems that i didn't spot earlier on.

dinner with my sis. had bak kut teh at beach road and eaten 2 1/2 bowls of rice! so full now. but thank God we walked home from beach road so it's not that bad. hehs.

craving for another holiday! :D

2009-11-08T23:09:00.004+08:00

This rabbit is special and unique in it's own way.. that's what i like abt it. =)
it's jus so simply adorable.. can i have it for christmas? lol.

so so so bored and tired...

weekends never seems enough for me to rest. how i wish we can rest three days work four days...

wonder if this job really suits me.. probably it just because i don't like how the company is being structured and managed. especially dislike one guy in the company.. just somehow he doesn't earn my respect for him. ....

anyway just got my iphone not long ago! haha.. finally got a new phone. =)

somehow don't know if my choice of getting this phone is good or bad... it always end up being on other's hands and whenever i wanna get it back i will just get the stare from that particular person saying i'm selfish.. zzz. it's my phone yet sometimes i feel it doesn't belongs to me because of that particular person.. sometimes i wonder what's wrong with me trying to be protective of my phone at times when i see them being so rough using my phone? it's my newly bought phone of course i wouldn't want others to damage it.. hais. guess he wouldn't understand. he's always living in his own world.

i just wish for you to be there for me...

2009-10-31T20:21:00.004+08:00

have been so busy working.. didn't really have time to enjoy lately.

sick.. work.. sick.. work.. it jus revolves ard me for the past two to three weeks. thank God i'm feeling better now. =) so i'm going back to normal.. jus work and enjoy life. hehs.

my poor dog buddy fall sick again. his poo content found with many nasty bacteria.. =x continuous three days of diarrhea. hope he get well soon!

lonely days..

2009-09-14T11:24:00.001+08:00

sad.

beloved went overseas for a week.

my one and only colleague is taking MC for a week or more.

how coincidence. .

2009-09-03T23:33:00.006+08:00

wondering is it all meant to be..

it always seems so easy to say things out yet so hard to get it done..

working environment was much better now. moved to a 'bigger' place at least better than the previous office.. and somehow i'm like being pampered by the company. .=x i'm the only one in the office with two tables at the moment.. hmmmmm.. no comment.

had a great lunch at kallang park today with Mala. =) should go there more often and enjoy the scenery. hehs.

recently weeks after weeks there's birthday celebration.. busy busy busy.. =x

beloved seems to really changed for the better.. seems too good to be true..

just afraid when i'm content with it things just turn bad. . .

2009-08-18T20:24:00.002+08:00

once again living in confusion...

wishing to be in my lala land...

2009-08-04T14:00:00.000+08:00

a good man may not be a good boyfriend...

a good girl may not be a good girlfriend...

ironic huh?

2009-07-31T00:27:00.000+08:00

laptop LCD cracked!!! =(((

sadded but what can i do.. things like that jus happened unexpectedly..

work work work..

2009-07-31T00:25:00.003+08:00

Quoted somehow somewhere.. =)

Happiness:
May you always have enough happiness to keep you sweet,
enough trails to keep you strong,
enough success to keep you eager,
enough faith to give you courage,
enough determination to make each day a good day.

2009-07-23T22:49:00.002+08:00

feeling lost again and again..
why does it seems so hard to lead a happy go lucky life?
too much burdens..
dunno when will i be able to lessen all these burdens.. =X

it's like i'm jus a tool used by u..
hais.

arrgh..

2009-07-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

Michael Jackson - Heal The World

2009-07-11T13:20:00.002+08:00

too much lala dreams..

had been working hard these days.. finally gotten a job! =)
Thank God for blessing me with this job. good environment to get experience from..
and it's sth that i really like doing...

didn't really get to clique well with my girls colleague though..
different freq.. different world.. =x
but still they are nice ppl so it wasn't that bad.

going stress.. stress and more stress.....

2009-06-27T16:53:00.002+08:00

it all seems so real.. yet gone the next moment when i open my eyes..
somehow i hope that i'm living in that world...
deep in my heart i know clearly it was not possible..
really hope this would stop..
it jus pains me to see how close i am when i am actually so far from it..

2009-06-21T23:13:00.004+08:00

had a great day skating at ECP with beloved. =)
it's been a long time since we went there to cycle and skate...
great workout. but both of us kinda end up in pain.
pain in his buttock.. pain in my ankle.. haha.

i'll consider..
the rest i'll leave it to fate..

our table no..

me and my beloved.. =)

him.

2009-06-20T23:25:00.003+08:00

Life has been rather plain for me these days..
doing nth much.. watch tv.. surf the net.. play com games..
boring stuff. haha.

but now finally i have a breakthrough! =p
got a job and i think i would like it there.

soon i'll be stepping into working industry..
wonder how things would turn out to be... ....

is it just me or what?
ithoughtyouarelongforgottenbutwhydoyoustillappearinmydreams
maybeitjusdoesntmeananythingormaybeitdoesidunnoandimyselfarefindinganswerstoit.

Thank God for everything.. =)))

2009-06-17T00:41:00.006+08:00

dream after dream.. she had been appearing in it.
and i still remember vividly that I hugged her tight when i get to see her in one of my dream.
i was really happy though it was just a dream.
it was as if my wish came true.
finally able to hug her once again.

i still misses her so much..
tears just kept on flowing out..
filled with so much regrets..
so much so much that no one would ever understands.

she had taught me so much stuff..
helping me whenever i needed help..
be it a listening ear or financial needs..
she nvr fails to be there for me..
but i didn't even get the chance to repay her..
it's so unfair.. so so unfair..
='(

but still i thank God for being gracious with her..
i know right now she doesn't have to endure all those pains that she's been suffering with..

i just blame myself for not acknowledging that it was not by pure luck that she survive that operation..
it was a second chance for her and for us.
but yet we were so naive, not cherishing it.
whatsoever. i know it's over.
but one thing for sure..
she would forever be in my <3.. forever.

P.S. Hope i get the job!!!

2009-06-12T07:44:00.004+08:00

it's sad and disappointing when ppl just misunderstood ur intention..
did so much for them yet they were not even appreciative and thinks likewise of it..
i just felt kinda terrible when i think about i actually sacrifices not meeting my friends for their sake.
he said his grandma is going back to hometown soon and she actually wants to play mj while his parents is away.. so i had to make a decision to meet my friends or accompany his grandma play mj.. and i end up coming to a decision to accompany his grandma instead since we didnt really get to spend time with her while she was with us.
so then my plans were to play with them for the afternoon.
and while playing he's not even concentrating.. i tolerated and it just got worst.
he end up wanting to end the mj section earlier than i expected just because he wanted to play his game instead.
feeling guilty that i actually sacrifice my friends to spend time with him and his grandma.. of course i would want to make full use of the time playing with his grandma so that i wouldnt feel that i wasted that time for nth?
but he or they jus think likewise.. they thought i was addicted to mj since i'm like insisting to continue playing?

and it was really disappointing that i actually chose to spend time with his grandma and his grandma said things like she also dun want to play even though i told her that i was suppose to go out today but i chose to stay and play mj with them.. making it seems like its all one sided.. cause they are not even appreciating what i have done yet thinking i was actually too addicted to playing mj. =(

and what's worst was that after that matter.. when he mentions abt playing mj again, his grandma just counted me out.. das.

was wondering what wrong have i done to deserve such treatment from them?

guess its jus my fault for making the wrong judgment then..

i'm not trying to blame anyone as i can only blame myself for making that decision then..

2009-06-10T18:07:00.002+08:00

i jus dun understand why is there such a guy like him?
so petty.. stingy.. not understanding.. always so calculative.. arrgh..
really had enough of it all. so pls jus freaking get out of my life.
i dun need a friend like u. yup.

anyway just went for a job interview ytd..
kinda unprepared when i went for the interview.
took quite a while before i finally find their office..
but thank God the interviewer were pretty friendly.
as it was a small company so it was the MD who actually interviewed me.
it wasn't that tense as i tot it would be as they made me feel rather comfortable with it.

hope to get a job soon!

2009-06-03T12:40:00.000+08:00

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

2009-06-02T00:40:00.002+08:00

Pictures of Billy's nephew.. he's so so cute.. ^^

what a day...

searching for my goal in life..

what job should i get???

2009-05-28T20:54:00.005+08:00

Had a tired day! dislike working.. lol. didnt managed to have enough slp yet still have to force myself to wake up for work..
today got a temp part time job which my xiao gu asked me to work to substitute one of her colleague for a day.
a job at the museum.. my roles is to stand at the entrance and check if they have the sticker to enter into the exhibition gallery.
the job is kinda boring cause most of the time i have nothing to do just stand there to guard the entrance? lol.
anyway apart from that.. the exhibition that i was guarding was pretty cool.
the works of Verner Panton.. i really like his works.. it was really creative and out of the box..
hence i find it pretty inspiring.. hehs.

"Most people spend their lives living in dreary, beige conformity, mortally afraid of using colours. The main purpose of my work is to provoke people into using their imagination and make their surroundings more exciting." - Verner Panton

somehow i'm getting tired of you constantly expecting me to do this and that for you while you can just do nth? arrgh.. it getting on my nerve. once or twice and we change row to balance up the work is fine.. but now it's always me helping u to do this and that. zzzz. am i like a dog or even like a slave to u?

2009-05-21T13:17:00.004+08:00

had a weird yet adventurous dream.. lol. dream that i was assigned to a task at work to clean the cemetery area.. so in a grp we will be assigned to work in shift day or night. anyway i got to experience to work in the day and night, and it was really really creepy to work in the night cause it was pitch dark... day time was alright.. lol.
and guess what? my job is to put the bones in the container.. dots.
what a weird dream yea?

i slept to my fullest today. and decided to head home after i woke up.. our plan was for me to leave ard 12plus when his mum will not be ard but end up it was really unpredictable.. the mum end up having kaki at his hse playing mahjong! now i'm jus stuck in his room.. cause it seems so awkward for them to see me comin out from the hse.

latest interview wasn't a success.. currently still looking for job though. but in the meanwhile i still having the holiday mood.. which was bad! cause i really should find a job soon! =x
but right now at least i know which direction to go now.. as in what type of job suits me or interest me. =)

2009-05-14T19:04:00.004+08:00

Updating Buddy's 1st Birthday Celebration; 1st May 2009.. =)

Buddy's Home.

Our food for the day! BBQ! hehs.

Buddy's Birthday Cake.

Me, Buddy & Billy. =)

2009-05-14T18:58:00.002+08:00

failed my TP. careless mistake!!! =X
dun wanna talk much abt it.. so yea. gotta do better next time! =)

finally after so long i got a job interview! hehs.
was late for the interview though. spent too much time choosing what to wear for the interview.. =x
the ppl there was rather friendly, but the girls there seems rather scheming.. scary. lol.
anyway i dunno if the interview went well.. so all i gotta do now is wait for the result....

home is still as messy as it can be when i'm not ard.. arrgh. everytime go home have to help them pack the hse and do all the housechores. tiring! =S

2009-05-10T22:17:00.005+08:00

Tan Yan Kai.. He's so so adorable & playful! a hyperactive baby. lol.

Me & Ronald on our way to FCBC. =)

was really surprise to hear that he wants to go church with me..
further more he's willing to travel from cck to expo with me.
lol. to me it's God answering my prayer.. =)
Thank God!

i know everything happened for a reason..
and everything the pastor said today was so true..
when someone sinned. God knows. and somehow in someway we will get punished for the mistake we have done so we wouldn't sin any further..
so eventually we'll realized our mistake and repent on it..

i thought it would seems awkward going back to church since i haven't been attending service.
when i returned everyone was really friendly and warm though.
somehow i just felt drifted away from everyone. like i'm a new comer though i have been attending this church for quite some time.
what's hurts me most is i feel like i lost a good pal of mine.. she's like given up hope on me.
anyway right now as long as she's happy i should feel happy too.. so yeap.

thinking about it i still have plenty of friends which i can start meeting up!

wonder if i will pass my TP.. =xxx
i'm gonna do my best and leave the rest to God!
God pls pls pls bless me. =)

today's dinner was a treat by billy's mother again.
the waiting time for the food was so long then Randall kept on complaining about the food not being served yet. i think we waited for ard 45mins before the food finally came. lol.
and we ate to our fullest! hehs. so full..
continuously two days we have been eating good food.
previous day food was really sumptuous and it really costs us a bomb.
it's like nearly $800 for 12 ppl. i was like OMG!
felt so ps yet thankful for the treat.
lucky today meal was 3 times cheaper though it's still rather exp.
Thank you Auntie Fanny! =)))

p.s. Happy Mother Day!!! to my mummy up in heaven. =) xoxo

2009-05-09T01:36:00.004+08:00

manage to learn loads more things from Johnson today! hehs.
i'm starting to like him teaching me.. but too bad not for long..
guess he's starting to teach me because my test dates are near.. i'm still thankful though! =)

joke of the day would be.. while i was chasing billy.. he ran to the staircase.. and end up locking himself behind the door of the staircase..
in the meanwhile i was hiding wanting to ambush him. only to realize that he's been locked up after quite some time..
and he had been calling me but i thought he was jus trying to trick me out...
it's really seems so stupid.
the scene of seeing him foolishly being locked behind the door are really really funny..
till now the thoughts of it still makes me laugh. LOL!

Did a good deed today! =D
billy found a wallet today and we obediently hand it over to the police. hehs.
guess the girl must be worried sick.
but it shouldn't be long till she gets msg of her wallet safe and sound. haha.

we managed to get back the refund money of $250..
but also within the same day we spent it all! omg?!?! lol.
payments for the labor fees for repairing his laptop.. and purchase of a new router and wireless adaptor.. a waste of money buying new stuff? time will tell.. =p

p.s. i wonder what that dream is telling me. =/

2009-05-05T22:52:00.002+08:00

Finally chalet days are over. haha.. slacking quite alot these days.

went for driving lesson and my instructor for the day is Johnson..
he's kinda strict so yea kinda feel stress sitting beside him. lol. but through him i got to learn more things. so yea.

today went to private circuit again.
this time round not much cars so the pressure wasn't that much when i get in.
the s-road is especially scary though i drive through it quite a number of times.

anyway i can't believe i'll be taking my driving test next week! omg! lol.
my instructor pointed out quite a few mistake that i did today. especially on blind spots! arrgh.

jus pray and hope i did well on that day.. if not gone case! =x

2009-05-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

Attended M.W 21st birthday celebration..
Congrats to Ming Wei... though he 'sux'... =p

Amy, Celeste, Ming Wei & Me. =)

had a great talk while we played the playing card whereby loser have to answer questions..
a game of "zhen xin hua"... getting to know more in depth with one another..

rotting in chalet now.. ahhh.. lol..

2009-04-21T02:12:00.000+08:00

idontwantittoend...

sevol..

2009-04-12T23:43:00.005+08:00

i can't believe i slept through the whole day! haha. only woke up ard 6pm.. zzzz..
nice rest though. =)

p.s. she's still so dearly to us.. =( we miss you loads... loves.

love this pic..

recently went out with those idiotic guys.. they are still irritating as before.. =p

2009-04-08T23:01:00.003+08:00

my graduation day.. =)

Daddy & me.. =D

Daddy, Billy & me.. ^^

Daddy, me & Leo..

Me & Kenneth..

thanks dear for those bears and the sumptuous dinner. =)))

didn't want to go for graduation ceremony initially...
but thinking it's once in a life time i should just go and attend it and give my dad a chance to witness me graduating from poly. =)
upon reaching i felt really awkward. though i did see some of my friends but they all have become so foreign to me. like i don't know them and most of them just walked pass me like stranger..=x oh maybe it's because i dare not get close to them..

anyway i'm really glad i graduated from RP. =D
and thank God i had a friend beside me while waiting to receive the certificate. hehs.
Thanks daddy, billy and leo for attending my graduation ceremony! =)

really envy those who scored distinction for their diploma.. wonder how they did it. haha.

2009-04-08T01:44:00.002+08:00

there are so many things to blog about after many days of not updating my blog.=x

just came back from Hong Kong! and yea it was fun though we had some unhappy moments.
went along with Jennifer, Chong Ee (Jennifer's Bf) and dear..
the trip was really worth it cause we spend ard $670 for the whole package which includes hotel accommodation at Jordon Road and two way air flight of Cathay Pacific.

we went to loads of places.. for the first day we went shopping starting from Jordon Road down to Temples street then all the way down to Mongkok. hehs.

second day we went to Ngong Ping Peak to see the big buddha.. after which we went shopping again!

third day we went to Ocean park.. it was really thrilling. i like the mine train best! haha. as we came early we manage to sit the mine train 2 times and the pirates ship 2 times too.. haha. what's best is me and Jennifer managed to persuade the guys to see the "space shot" dunno what that ride calls but it's the one that goes all the way up and then kinda drops down. =) the guys are really cowards these days. still dares to gives excuses say their heart too weak to take the ride when kids much younger can even take it. zzz. speechless.

fourth day was kinda bad cause i couldn't wake up as i only manage to rest ard 3/4am.
and i kinda upset Jennifer as i keep on lazing on the bed not wanting to wake up. guess it also partly because i feel kinda embarrass havin her to wake me up. it was kinda late when i was finally done.. and the more i fetch embarrass not wanting to talk then they thought i'm giving black faces because i don't want to go Macau. zzz. which was totally not.
i was actually kinda looking forward to go Macau jus that if I go i want to make full use of the trip since we will be paying quite alot just to go there and come back to HK.
guess many bad things happened when we're there. i anyhow run abt cause i was pissed off with him and we end up quarrelling over there. it feels really awful but thank God it didn't lasted for long.. after we calm down we kinda let it go.

i thought this trip would help bond our r/s better but instead it sort of made it worst. though it was fun but there seems to be a scar there making me feel we're not going to have another vacation together.=( hope it's jus my silly thought.

oh God i really don't know what to do now. he's always making me confuse of what I should do.
what's wrong with being devoted to him even though we're just in BGR?
it's really silly of him to say i should be doing those bad stuff so that he would loves me more or so.
i'm glad that you did thought of settling down with me though your thought will be many yrs later. but seriously i wonder if we really can last so long when you yourself feels that you can't seems to commit in a r/s.=(
i know we are still young but all i want is to do my best in this r/s and hoping it will last..
sometimes i jus wonder why is it so hard to be in love with someone you love......

2009-03-30T02:44:00.004+08:00

firsty i want to wish Jennifer, Happy 19th Birthday!!! =)

there are definitely alot of march babies in my friend's list. haha.
just celebrated my birthday not long ago along with Yong Ann & Cheng Xun.
and i would say ytd we jus gave Cheng Xun a surprise birthday party. lol.
and the previous day they too gave me a surprise celebration too.
so it was really busy busy busy for these few days.

i would say this year i had the greatest birthday! i had my cousins, siblings and my friends who came and celebrated my birthday.. as such i also received alot alot of presents from them.
Thanks all for the present!!! i liked all of them! hehs.

my elder sis was the best. haha cause this year she gave me loads of present..
1) Guess wallet from thailand
2) Helium Balloons; Winne the pooh!!! (my fav =p)
3) a key-shaped pendant from Lee Hwa; my younger sis too chipped in for this present. hehs.
Thanks a million sisters! =p

sometimes i jus don't understand guys. why they always dun want to listen what girls have to say before they get angry and starts shouting. =x
i just wanted to know why he's doing things that is making me upset that's all, and thinking maybe that explanation that he gave might appease me... but instead he just got angry cause he don't want to admit any wrongs. zzzz.
everytime.. its everytime! he would say things to hurt me so badly just because i'm pissed with him and we end up having a tiff. seriously why he have to say those hurtful things..."we are really not suitable for one another" "break up! (his fav phrase which i hate the most!)" "you go and find someone who suits you best cause i cant" "my feelings for you is fading away".. the best is after he says all this he says he's serious abt it. wth?!?! ='( that really shows how bastard a guy can be when they are pissed off too. ZZZZ.
and i'm always the one end up in loads of tears while he's jus venting his stupid anger on me.

what can i do to make him cherish me??? i really wonder.. God pls tell me how...

2009-03-19T09:49:00.003+08:00

oh my gosh. i managed to wake up early and make breakfast for billy's family. hehs.
cook a simple western breakfast for them.. bacons, egg along with some breads.
i think it was really nice. hehs. but kinda oily. =x

so tired now.. going back to slp soon.. haha.

ytd watched the movie " Race To Witch Mountain " with billy, his brothers and dad..
the storyline kinda normal but the effects were pretty good so overall still quite enjoyable. =)

going to malaysia; segamat tml! haha.

p.s. miss home. =X

2009-03-18T12:56:00.005+08:00

had been really busy these days.
finally ended my work at the IT show. it was really tiring and kinda demoralizing at times.
my basic pay is almost the same as working at a mac.
somehow i feel underpaid.
work for the whole 10 or 11 hrs and only manage to earn so little money.
the only thing that motivates me a little is the commission which is really tough to earn.
anyway.. it's really easier to promote a branded stuff than a non-branded stuff.
ppl will comes and buy automatically if it's branded, but you have to beg for someone to buy a non-branded stuff. =x
to think that first day i only manage to sell one item!
overall wasn't that bad. manage to sell more during the last few days of the IT show.

have started to learn driving for the past two weeks. hehs.
it was really fun for the first time when i really get to drive on the road.
second time wasn't that smooth.. different instructor teaching me, and the instructions that the instructor gave wasn't that clear to me. thank God didn't get to any accidents. maybe it's because i get to do more turning here and there and passing more junctions bah.
keep on having the stupid bad dreams that i got into accident driving car. =X

today yet another nightmare about my birthday. dreamt that my birthday celebration wasn't as i planned it to be. funny thing was.. i too dreamt that my elder sis took us out in the sea.. play till i can run on the sea.. ski on it and even do many extraordinary stuff at the sea. LOL! it was damn fun. =p

hehs. my birthday coming soon..
afterwhich is Hong Kong trip!!! weeee...
Fun fun fun!

2009-03-06T00:02:00.003+08:00

yesterday went out with dinner with Chong Ee and Jennifer. kinda celebrate our anniversaries. hehs.

went to this restaurant like Marche.. somehow it's in japanese version de..
i think the food there is really nice however billy think likewise. so yea i guess different ppl different preference bah. =)
we were given this card when we enter the restaurant.. if lost need to pay $100!! lol.

we ordered up to 10 dishes of food!!! look yummy huh?! in the end too many food till we cannot finish it all.=x

dear and me. =D

had a really bad day today..
starting of the day wasn't that good to start with...
after we had our breakfast/lunch.. we went straight to play with Buddy that we neglect washing the dishes. end up when dear mum came home she was angry that we didn't wash our own dishes and kinda scolded us. =x it was like once in a while we didn't wash and we get scolded that badly.. at that point i was thinking if i wasn't there she wouldn't get that angry and would have helped billy to wash the dishes bah. cause dear dun even have the habit of doing all those stuff, he always leave it to me instead... ...

in the night. he's still playing his stupid game when he was supposed to feed his dog which he jolly well know.. and he expect me to help me feed his dog and walk his dog out while he just play his game. i was not happy with it of course.
he knows he have to walk dog yet he still continue to play his game and neglect his duty and expect me to do it for him while he enjoy playin his game.. =x
if it's because of other things that he cannot feed his dog i would be more than happy to feed Buddy and walk him out but it because of that stupid game that he have been playing for the damn whole day that he cannot feed his dog.. -.-.
anyway i went down to pacify the dog asking him not to keep barking and to wait for him to finish his game and walk his dog out together.
but somehow the dog suddenly started to bark continously.. as such his sis was pissed that why isnt anyone bring the dog out when we should. and i told her i was waiting for billy to come down and bring the dog out. and she commented that we were heartless to treat a dog like that not bringin it out when the dog wanted to go out to pee and shit. zzzz.
how could that be heartless? making such comment really makes me more heartache.. as that isn't even my intention i was just waiting for its owner to come down before we can go for the walk together.
and because of her sis keep on nagging him down.. he end up getting piss and angry with me when i was the one who was piss with him first!
guys really good at twisting things..
of course i got angry too that i really wanted to leave his hse! packed my things ready to leave..
was hoping that he would come out and hoax me then but he didnt! instead he became more angry then i was! ZZZZ. end up it's like i was begging him for this and that.. its really irritating.
i could have really leave him... but my heart is always so softhearted! arrgh.. =(

now still feeling kinda upset.
dunno why i would still think of her time to time.
i really miss those days when she taught me how to do tang yuan and we all did it together..
to realise that the worst thing could have happened to someone is losing someone whom they love.. ='(
i wonder if i could see her again after i leave this world too...

2009-02-27T00:40:00.002+08:00

good things have been happening to me and i really thank God for all that had happened.
hmmm. somehow i seem bad.. it's like i haven't been keeping my promises to God.. yet he never once forsake me and always blessing and answering my prayer. =x just yesterday i saw a rainbow and it reminds me of God's promises that he made to us.
and just as i thought i'm going to fail my final theory test.. i actually passed it!
it was really shocking to me as i felt that i'm gonna fail it for sure cause there's a few qns that i'm unsure of.. i still purposely delay time wanting the person beside me to leave first, not wanting him to see i fail my FTT. =x he didn't leave even after i left though, he took too long till i tell myself "dun care le, si jiu si" lol.. and surprisingly it's a passed that appeared. thanks dear for being there for me. loves.

think i will be taking my practical test during may. =)

and my sis will be getting a car soon! hehs. means i will get to drive it.. weeee. but i still prefer to drive my own car.. cause my sis is really naggy. hehs.

have been really bored these days. nothing much to do. and i just get my lappy repaired. =) now i'm learning how to play dota. played for so many days still noob at it. kinda like no talent in playing games. =X but really appreciate my dear still so patience and willing to play with me. haha.

so now i will just share with you all God's rainbow of promises... =D

God promised me a rainbow.
He promised one to you.
A rainbow made of love,
forgiveness through and through.

He gave to us, this rainbow-
so glorious to see-
by giving up His only Son-
out of Love for you and me.

In return for God's rainbow,
there are things He asks of us.
Speak only good and helpful words-
not those which are corrupt.

Don't be arrogant or quick tempered.
Live wisely and be fair.
Live a devout and disciplined life-
and your rainbow will be there.

Live a life that's full and rich,
but stay within God's rules.
Remember you're accountable,
for all you say and do.

The Spirit of God lives within you,
and guides you day and night.
Aspire to live as Christ taught us.
Trust that the Spirit is right.

When you are sad and crying,
and life seems full of dread.
"God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."

One of God's biggest promises,
in the rainbow of His glory-
is forgiving us of our sins,
if we tell Him we are sorry.

And the biggest of God's promises,
when we live with Christ within,
is that life is all eternal-
because He washed away our sins.

2009-02-17T00:55:00.002+08:00

suddenly just miss her so much.. ='(
i didn't realise she was so so so impt till she leave us.
knowing that she was so indispensable to us...
we used to rely her so much... she's always giving...
we were always thinking that there's always tml.. thinking that we will repay her in the future when we grow up and work. but.. we were wrong.
she left us before we got the chance to repay her. i really regret for that.
i admit i took things for granted. thinking she will be strong enough to live longer.
ever since she left.. the house was always in a mess. no one clean up the hse. no one wants to iron the clothes... hence there's always loads of clothes pile up. =x
i tried my best in doing my part in the family. but how can i ever replaced her in the family?
it was impossible.
she's a great mum while i'm a failure daugther. =(
i'm just used to being pampered by her. every time we ran out of money.. she will try her best to give us her money even if she left with not much she will still give half of what she had to satisfied our need.
i really regret for not cherishing her.
mum u're so so so impt. can u come back? back home where u belong?

*tears*

2009-02-16T22:44:00.002+08:00

... didn't get to watch movie today. somehow got cheated by him again. always said ok in the end.. end up doing other stuff then say cancel. ZzZz..

anyway. good news is i'll be getting that GST offset package!!! haha.. so happy got extra money. guess i really can rest and relax this few months. =)))

it was a fair day...
hope nth goes wrong.

2009-02-16T15:57:00.002+08:00

went jogging in the middle of the night with mr billy.. felt so weird then.. lol.. 12am++ went jogging. =x but had a good work out though. refreshing. haha. we run ard yew tee.. he was there encouraging me again and again when i was about to give up.. giving me a hand when i stopped running. thanks dear.=) end up we only went to slp ard 3am.

had a really really weird dream. dreamt of many many things. it was definitely adventurous! LOL!
in my dream my new friends were acutally aliens etc and they were like really good aliens treating me really nice etc. anyway it was really action packed. ZzZz.. and because of the amazing dream that i had i slept till 1pm++. lol.

later going to catch the movie "Love matters"! =P

2009-02-15T23:43:00.005+08:00

On Valentine Day.. on our way out.. <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_My8ngQza0zg/SZg6K17d48I/AAAAAAAAA2Q/-XMbUUaSSO0/s1600-h/DSC00439.JPG">
2nd attempt..

Finally he smiled.. with my hand threatening him.. LOL!

Me & Dear.. =)

Dear entertaining with a 'smile'.. lol.

Leo giving a stupid face.. =P

Cute little Brayden... ZzZz.. ^^

Me, Brayden and Melissa..

Me & Brayden.. hehs.

Brought Buddy for a swim.. see how hyper is he?

Went down the pool yet didn't swim! dunno is lazy or what.. lol

Buddy being reluctant to swim...

Valentine day wasn't that smooth as it was supposed to be.. last min everything changed.. dunno to be angry or what.. planned so well yet still can go wrong.. gotta blame billy for that! hmmph.
he woke up early yet still purposely go back to sleep which cause us to wake up later than what we had plan.. though it's not much difference.. but he like keep on complaining that going ECP is beri far and that it's so inconvenient to get there without car. so end up we kept on changing plans.. anyway in the end we went to JP had our lunch and headed back to billy's home to play mj with his grandma. in the night went to celebrate his mum birthday at a restaurant..
Had a sumptous dinner though.. we ate buddle jump over the wall and 3 other dishes.. the dinner was definitely exp.
after dinner we move on to the karoke lounge to sing k. thank God we found a empty room for the younger generation to sing. haha.

thought i would had a compensation from him tonight cause he said so.. in the end. hais. also didnt end up as it was suppose to be.

2009-02-11T23:47:00.003+08:00

=(.. wasn't able to blog pictures. will update those pictures some other days then..

had chicken rice for breakfast again.. kinda scare of chicken rice for now.. just ytd as i wake up late the chicken rice became kinda spoil but i still eat it.. eat till wanna vomit end up throw it away..=x

bath Buddy today.. thank God he was obedient when i bath him, so I didn't have much trouble while bathing him. =)

my nice daddy was good enough to come and fetch me home.. finally home sweet home.. =D

mel came my hse today and accompany.. was supposed to have mj section but in the end it was cancelled as her friend couldn't make it so we jus end up slacking at my hse instead.. sian..

what's on for my future? i really wonder..

why does r/s have to be so complicated?
didn't meet also quarrell. meet also quarrell.
sometimes it jus makes me wonder what's love?
maybe we're just too young to understand what is love..
the thing that i don't understand is why does guys have to be so bast*** when they get worked up? always say those hurtful things...
it's always so complicated..

2009-02-04T15:38:00.002+08:00

this year cny wasn't that bad as i had expected it to be.
i thought this occasion would make me miss her more than ever.. but guess we were all kept busy with stuff that we didn't have time to day dream. even so.. i still miss her badly..
glad that she still appear in my dreams.. =)

everything seems fine now.. i'm finally set on what to do!
hope i wouldn't waver again on the decision i made..

2009-01-28T23:17:00.004+08:00

early morning had a tiff with my elder sis..
she was really unreasonable!
i happened to see her taking my younger sis new clothes wanting to wear it..
i then told her it was cw new clothes dun wear it..
she then replied saying cw would not mind if she give her money...
and i said that its definitely not about the money!
who would like ppl to wear their new clothes first?
money cant buy everything! she was saying money can solve everything.
i don't denied money is important... but somethings just can't be replaced by money alone.. zzz.
to me she still so immature..
i told her.. how do u expect ppl to respect u when u dun even respect others?
being unreasonable she said she dun care if we respect her a not cause in the first place we didn't treat her like our sister.. i was like wth?! i don't know where she got all those childish thoughts.
still living in her own world. at times i really pray that god take away her self obsession..

latter.. my whole day was to wait for him to come fetch Buddy home.. almost slept for the whole day. after i had my lunch with my dad i end up going back to slp..
slept till evening till he finally arrives!
guess my family going to miss Buddy loads loads. =x

he's still as da nan ren zhu yi as ever.. fearing that i will over power him.. dotzzz...
always didnt keep to his promise.. i really hate this part of him. jus small little things yet he always doesn't keep to it.. it really makes me demoralises.. at times my mind jus kept on echoing what he said.. "then go and look for someone who can do all those things that i can't".. hais.
i really wonder did i really make the wrong choice to be with u..
even loving you with my heart didn't melt u... and it jus makes me wonder what went wrong...

2009-01-28T00:40:00.002+08:00

Pictures taken on the first day of CNY!

My cute little niece.. Grace..
That's her real look. cute isn't it? =)

Taken before we 'lo hei'... =D

My two BIG size cousins, Malvin& Lousin (great bodyguard. hehs.), & Amanda.. HAHA.

Informal family pictures. ^^

Hilary, me, Maggie, Amanda & Amy.. :)

Three sisters.. hehs.

While on our way to CCK.. Seong Hoon, me and Faith.. =p

got kinda irritated that i have to go all the way to cck just to water plants. it's sounded so stupid yet it's a must to do.. arrgh.. i dun mind if its near but it's like so far from my hse.. so it's really inconvenient. anyway.. thank God my sis is willing to go with me.. kinda shared burden with me. =) if not i'll have so much more to do..
i guess he'll not understand what i experience. to him it's just a simple task. but he don't know the trouble that i have to go through.=x

sian sian sian...

anyway.. today went house visiting to brenda hse.. her hse is jus a few steps from my hse though. chatted with my cousins and get to know what happens to their life. everyone has really grown up.. =) we are all getting old!

Buddy is still as mischievious as ever.. matchmake him with Bambi.. at first it was going on fine.. till he kept on scaring Bambi too much that she got irritated from it. lol. their 'love' is so naive..
guess my family going to miss the days without him soon..

2009-01-22T21:08:00.002+08:00

finally Buddy is staying at my hse! haha. get the chance to slp beside him. hehs.. but too bad he's not staying for long. hope we would have a great time together and hope he get use to my hse.

nowadays don't really have the appetite to eat. =x just hope i get my appetite back. like what ppl says eating is a blessing. so yea.

2009-01-20T22:33:00.005+08:00

today i was late for school yet being able to leave early too.. lol..

meet up with mel and get to hear what happened to cx. =x i just don't know what to say and what should i do.. in my head is just God God and God. guess i'll jus leave it to God and hope that he will change everything for the better. worried.

everyone left.. i want to stay also seems kinda pointless so end up slacking in a empty room awaiting for him to finish his lesson and test as well..

it's been a long time since i do my quiet time! haha. and blogging kinda remind me to read and spend time with God once again. Thank God! =) this year round seems to have many prayers to make..
Got to pray for my sis for her studies. and also pray that she stop spending money like water as well for me. ha!
Got to pray for billy's brother for his studies too. =x
Got to pray for his dad regarding his career..
Got to pray for dad for his health and life. hope he's doing fine. misses.
currently that's the first few priority that i'll be praying for.. God bless them!

Now i will showcast the pictures that was taken during human resource lesson yesterday!
Now loading...

Class Picture 1!

Class Picture 2!

Mistake of Amos while trying to take class picture! LOL.

The girls with facilitator..

Here comes the loving guys with the facilitator. haha.

We girls were happily taking pictures...

till he came making everyone panic.. anyway the whole thing was kinda hilarious. lol!
The End!

2009-01-19T13:15:00.004+08:00

somehow i felt kinda confuse.. probably feeling insecure.. it seems so unstable and scary..
it takes both sometime to get together, however it can takes less than a day to end it.
it takes one hard to accept the sudden breakage of it.. after a long term of nurturing it.. it can just be gone the next moment.

I don't know if I should continue to put my heart to it or just let it go once again.
either options, i'm just confuse.

the thing i don't get it is that.. i thought i have let you go.. but somehow it's still there haunting me... and i don't even know what went wrong? maybe i just haven't left it as my past.. it has too moved on with me as I grow without me noticing.. =x

funny thing that happened today: got to witness how David grabbed the cheesy topping of pizza with another pizza on his hand.. it was really gross cause he was constantly trying hard to squeeze up that pizza topping.. last but not least he actually eat like hungry ghost constantly pushing the big piece of pizza into his mouth. LOL!

God please guide me!!! x)

Pictures taken yesterday in Church... ^^

Chris was acting like??? shanghai tan...

Chris, Caleb, Me, Faith.. white, black, white, black notes... hehs.

This pic looks so funny with Caleb making that eye gouging expression. lol

i love this pic that i took with Joy! =)

Group pic! Caleb, Chris, Joy!, Faith & Me... =D

2008-12-30T22:50:00.003+08:00

currently enjoying my vacation at thailand. guess it's a shopping and relaxation trip..
was in a shopping spree for consecutive 2 days.. one day exp shopping.. next day cheap shopping. =)

hais.. this sem fyp team really sucks to the core. serious communication breakdown plus more work.. basically i jus feel being taken granted of. no matter how much i have done. they will always have negative things about me instead of appreciating what i have done for them. =xxx

2008-11-21T21:35:00.002+08:00

ahhh!!!! dear dear making me crazy............ =X

hais.. didn't went to school today. speechless. once again I'm jeopardizing my grade once again. =X but was really tired and lazy to go to school..

i really don't know what to say now..

i really love you with my heart. all i want now is for you to believe in me.. is it really so heart. there may be many friends having common interest with me.. but it's you whom i love..

m, you're always on my mind whenever i'm thinking of somethings. and regrets just sank in with full of questions why did u leave? how could u leave us just like that? it's just too fast.. just too early.. there were so much to be done.. i really need you by my side...

2008-10-24T15:10:00.003+08:00

i did update my blog recently.. just that when i was about to publish my post my laptop hang. =X
i shut down my lappy.. and sadly it couldnt start up properly, so i have to keep on on-ing and off-ing till it was in total shut down mood that i couldnt even turn it on anymore.. =(
now it's under repair.. miss my lappy..

things aren't so bad that i think it was.. i guess..

surprisingly... both my sis are finally attached! lol. all the best to them!

today's lesson wasn't that bad. facil was especially lenient today. lol. we even got treats from him! hehs.

P.S. guess u are really a great friend to accompany me all the way to my sch.. haha. thanks! =)

2008-10-20T18:25:00.004+08:00

think i have the lazy attitude to blog everyday. lol. although i may want to blog my everyday life but i'm just too lazy or rather tired to do so. finally get my hands and brain to blog today. hehs.

was thinking about a lot of things lately which I find it rather redundant to be thinking about all those things only to make myself worried.
i still misses her.. and really wanted her to come back that much that i kept on dreaming that all this was just a dream. i didn't want to let her go.. i couldn't bear to. there was still so much to be done and said, but still she just left. sometimes i really blame myself for what happened.. if i had went with her all this wouldn't have happened and she would still be living happily with us though i know at times she's in pain cause of her illness but she's still leading a happy life with her. at times, i get envy when i see ppl still having their mother doting on them, and sadly tears just overwhelm my eyes. if i can make a wish, i would wish to have my mother back with us..
i guess it's really only when you lost the person whom you loved then will we cherish..
though you are not with us anymore, but one thing i'm sure of is you are always in my heart and mind.. =') God bless you, mummy.

at this stage of life, i'm really confuse what type of person am i.. good or bad? some said i have changed for the worst because i didnt make out time for him. but to me, maybe i'm wrong but it doesn't mean that i'm bad or changed for the worst.. i just didn't have time for him/her for now. and i really hope as a friend they would understand. i feel that understanding between friends are really impt to keep the bonding on forever... without understanding we'll have endless quarrells again and again which i really detest about. right now i guess i'm in the moulding stage in life.. funny to say i don't even know what type of person am i.. who i really am? hmm.. only God knows.

in r/s.. i guess it's really hard to find that someone whom you really get along well with and get all lovey dovey. as in soulmate couples.. knowing what the other party wants as well as what each of them are thinking abt.. nowadays guys aren't that proactive, and they are seriously dude in r/s always doesn't know what girls want etc.. while on the train back, my mind was thinking was it because the world was so badly corrupted that's why we couldn't find anymore good guys whom we find suitable with, as such we end up falling in love with guys whom we think are good yet doesnt suits us. hmm.. sophiscated isn't it. lol.
right now i feel my r/s is rather stable yet unstable at the same time. it's like a see-saw which is on the middle stage.. either go down or up.. the 1/2 1/2 percentage makes it so uncertain.
i feel that we don't really suit one another due to our character, somehow our character clashes.. hence it's up to us to compromise and have greater understanding towards one another..
but one thing i know is we both love each other.. just that at times our character just tends to get so stubborn that we jus end up being unhappy.
it's complicated.. it's blind..

school life was really boring.. really hope it end soons.. lol. and when it really end i think i will really miss it like crazy.. human are 'funny' huh? =P

2008-10-05T01:47:00.003+08:00

went out with Cheng Xun & Melissa @ Vivo.. and sadly i overslept end up we met later than expected. =x lucky cheng xun overslept too. had an enjoyable time shopping except that part whereby mel's face turn black jus because she didnt bought anything. ZzZz. she was expecting us to choose something nice for her to buy or so. but my taste and her taste is like totally different? so choosing something nice for her it's kinda tough for me. we tried but fail. was telling her to be more independent in terms of choosing clothes cause she keep on relying on her to choose for her. when ppl have expectations on others and the others didnt do what was expected the person will therefore get sad and disappointed.. i know that theory. but i jus feel that certain things she should be more independent such as simple stuff like choosing and buying clothes that she likes.

had dinner @ Boon Tong Kee at my hse there. had a tough time choosing where to eat too.. so yea thank God i managed to have a great dinner.

afterwhich they came to my hse to for mj section. lol. me, my dad, cheng xun and mel. and winner was my dad and mel. sob sob.

Melissa, Cheng Xun & Me.. =)

Me & Mel.. ^^

Mel & Cheng Xun.. =D

My didi & Me. =P

That's All Folks... hehs.

2008-10-01T23:42:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry keith. hais. think today woke up really late. then dunno why keep on taking my time to do my things. it's like i have the whole day to do my stuff.. it's like i'm doing that on purpose to anger u.. or maybe it's because i dun really feel like going out today. whatsoever, i'm sorry.

went late to meet joy and keith. however still manage to play one bball match with them before keith gotta rush to work. after that we went joy's house to play twister and monopoly.. LOLs. spent money buying the stupid twister for my sis.. she said she wanted that long ago.. so yea.. i anyhow spend my money again. jus pray that i'm able to get back my pay. =x winner for twister is JOY. winner for monopoly is my little sister FAITH - she got the least property yet the richest and that is because she's the only one manage to upgrade most of her properties to hotel. ZZZZ..

my xiao mei is really ridiculous today.. she actually wanted to go downtown east jus to eat fondue. we're at bishan yet she keep on insisting to go downtown jus to eat the fondue. end up we quarrelled, cause she keep on asking me irritating me to go. =x
then follow by him asking me to help him do RJ.. ZzZz.. and i somehow felt more sadded when i heard him going west coast with his buddy again. hais. last time always ask him to bring me there even when i'm at his hse he never fails to reject me saying it's so far and etc. but whenever his buddy wanna go he never fails to fetch them there. somehow i felt it's so unfair.. hais.. somethings i jus dun get it. =(

2008-10-01T00:59:00.002+08:00

started to miss her more day by day.. dreaming when will she be back...

recently had a mj section with keith, caleb and chris at my hse. and it had been a while since i win a thirteen wonders! =) but in the end i still didnt manage to win for the overall. sob sob.

went out with beloved today. get to watch "Mirrors".. but it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be.. overall still not that bad. storyline quite interesting.

today dad shares a lot of his oldtime story with me.. it was kinda hilarious. lol. as usual he always have many stories and things to say so yea. i didn't know my dad was such a attractive and gentleman guy.. haha.

p.s. really really miss her loads.

2008-09-28T18:37:00.002+08:00

finally i was able to blog. pass few days seems to have technical problem creating post so yea..

hmm.. somehow feeling kinda numb about what happened recently. maybe it was too sudden to accept it. but as days to come.. i will still have to accept it.. really miss her presence.. =x

i will miss the days she prepare food for us.. all the cooking and buying.. on our birthday she never fails to cook the birthday noodle for me.. ='( thanks mummy for everything you had done.

finally going back to sch tml.. gotta work harder than ever i guess..

i really wish to see her somehow.. wanna hear her last words for us..

mummy may u rest in peace.. God bless..

2008-09-17T21:56:00.002+08:00

nearly overslept today. i'm died if i did cause then i will then be late for the second time for FYP meeting. =x thank God i was able to reach early. =D
and unexpectedly my facil came late but today meeting was longer then i had expected.. so yea.

went out with dear dear today.. was really happy that i finally get to go out with dear. yet so many unexpected things just pop out.. just felt that I cant really enjoy my outing with dear. it's like i know he dun like to go out.. then he always try to make his day pack with many other stuff.
meet him ard 1pm.. and we have to go funan to fix his lappy. afterwhich then we had our lunch at Popeye along with his sister, it was so filling! =X
went to Vivo planning to catch a movie. upon arrival he suggested to go pet's lover to see puppies.. end up we spent $200+ buying a somewhat comb, shampoo and food for Buddy.. btw the puppies are really cute especially those toy poodles!
we manage to catch a movie "Babylon AD", don't really know what's the story is about as in what's it trying to convey in the end. it jus ended like no ending.. lol. after the movie we had to rush to get the car from his sister.. just yearning to really enjoy our outing.. walking and shopping.. but jus always doesnt get to chance to really do so.

thought i was able to go overseas with you this year.. but guess i'm just not fortunate enough to travel this year with you. hais. cannot celebrate christmas with you again.. was really sad and disappointed to hear that you are going without me but i'll still be glad that you are able to go and enjoy urself with ur family though. we shall see how it goes then.. God comfort me pls..

2008-09-16T22:40:00.002+08:00

things finally have been turning around for the better.. felt much better these days.. =)
feel like... finally see the rainbow after the rain kind of thing.. hehs.

today was a tiring day..
*sorry Shirley always forget my class then always ask u for it.. =x u know i beri forgetful de.. hehs
thanks to Shirley that i didnt get into the wrong class for lessons. haha.. it's good to be in the same class as u everyday.. =P
didnt get to have a good nitez slp last night. yet amazingly i survived during lesson.. didn't even take a nap. lol. me pro man. my team today can say no team work though i tried to coordinate everyone but it doesnt seems to work. so yea.. i guess i jus dun have enough communication skills.. maybe. jus hope next week will be better!

after lesson went for FYP meeting.. was already beri exhausted so was hoping that the meeting end asap so that i can go home and rest soon... thank God it ended within 30mins. hehs.

went home and lucky i wasnt dragged down to do housework.. my dad is more and more helpful nowadays.. guess he really dote on my mum alot. =)
and my great mum made great dinner for me.. really grateful.. haha.. somemore i still got fruits to eat after dinner! that's the best. guess today wasn't such a bad day.. lalalala..

Goodnitez everyone!

dear muacks muacks.. ^^

2008-09-12T21:04:00.003+08:00

Sorry that i have disappointed u in anyways.. hmm.. i could only say sorry i'm wrong.

finally my PP was approved! =) one burden less.. hehs.

next would be my FYP.. it's so much different from my previous FYP.. this time round there is more expectations; from my facilitator.. I believe i will be doing better than the previous one.. i guess i just didnt put in the correct way in putting my efforts. =x

anyway just hope that I would excel in this time round.

it had been a long time since i have attended service at FCBC.. i guess i have really drifted apart. cause I no longer have that sense of going back anymore.. last time it used to be my 2nd home.. but now.. it's somehow became so distinct..
no matter what happened.. i know that God is always in my heart. that is for sure. =)

cried two times today.. sounded so silly. one because of him.. another time is because of his little bro. =x it seems that he has been so into game yet he's not admitting it.. so no comments. WOW sucks. as for his little brother.. hais.. all the disrespectful manners just came at me. so once again.. i have no more comments.. just feel like life is so sad.. THE END!

2008-09-12T21:01:00.002+08:00

This is interesting.. =)

MAC VS PC

2008-09-08T11:43:00.002+08:00

so much have happened yet not noted down..

whatever was written here may or may not be what the writer really feels.. it's complicated yet simple if you were to know the writer well..

how i wish life is much more simple.. not implicating so much things in my life which in the end leads to worries..

but too bad.. as times passes our lifestyle became more and more advanced which therefore life to the implications and leading to many many worries.........................

now.. for certain reasons sometimes i don't know why i reacted that way.. i'm so emotional.. i really can't stand ppl arguing with me.. i just hate being irritated. so pls.. whatever things.. why can't we jus talk things out nicely........... i wonder.. maybe it's just me who's creating problem..

hmm.. i wish to go back to church.. having fun with my friends.. but i dunno how now..
so much have changed..

to you i'm jus one of the entity; gf.. to me you are more than that and we both know that well.. i believe it's because i cherish u too much..
loveis???

2008-08-11T00:04:00.002+08:00

sick.. =xxx

i wish to run far far away to a wonderland land filled with peace..
no one would irritated me or nag me any further..

can you pls stop irritating me with your nuisance? i'm so getting sick of it..

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

2008-08-08T22:47:00.002+08:00

A unique day.. 08/08/08.. with a unique person.. lol..

Had a great time with my honey Cynthia today.. hehs.
everything like so random.. lolx. and we are like so getting along.. though we have few yrs of age gap.. but seriously that doesn't affects us.. i think is either she is matured.. or i'm still kiddy.. LOL.

went to causeway point to have our dinner and movie.
dinner @ mos... our jiu jiu yi qi dinner..
and we catch "Money Not Enough 2".. hehs.
i would rate it 4 out of 5 bah.. really funny, and touching.. =)

after movie.. silly cynthia sot sot de.. lol. we were talking about rebonding then she suddenly say "Nice anot?".. lolx.. then i thought she was asking sth relating to rebonding.. but actually she was asking if the movie nice anot.. lolx.. feel like "bashing" her then.. =p jkjk.. how would i bear to hit my honey.. hehs.

after movie we beri guai.. went home straight.. LOL..

tml gotta work afternoon.. so guess i'm celebrating National Day with Giodano..

HAPPY 43th BIRHTDAY TO SINGAPORE!!!! ^^

2008-07-31T01:40:00.003+08:00

saw this interesting post from ashley aka mei yean.. =)
from an email.. and it goes like this...

One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise.
Ah the beauty of God's creation is beyond description.
As I watched, I praised the God for His beautiful work.
As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me.
He asked me, "Do you love me?"
I answered, "Of course, God! You are my Lord and Savior!"

Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?"

I was perplexed, "It would be tough Lord, but I would still love you."

Then the Lord said, " If you were blind, would you still love my creation?"

How could I love something without being able to see it?
Then I thought of all the blind people
in the world and how many of them still loved God and his creation.

So I answered," It's hard to think of it, but I would still love you."

The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my Lord?"

How could I listen to anything being deaf?
Then I understood.
Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts.

I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your Word."

The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?"

How could I praise without a voice?
Then it occurred to me: God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul.
It never matters what we sound like.
And praising God is not always with a song,
but when we are persecuted,
we give God praise with our words of thanks.

So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."

And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?"

With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly.
"Yes Lord! I love You because You are the One and true God!"

I thought I had answered well, but God asked, "THEN WHY DO YOU SIN?"

I answered, " Because I am only human. I am not perfect."

"THEN WHY IN TIMES OF PEACE DO YOU STRAY THE FURTHEST?
WHY ONLY IN TIMES OF TROUBLE DO YOU PRAY THE EARNEST?"

No answers. Only tears.

The Lord continued to roll down my cheeks.

"Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news?
Why in times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on?
Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"

I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.

"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away.
I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away.
I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge.
I have spoken to you but your ears were closed.
I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away.
I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away.
I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all."

"DO YOU TRULY LOVE ME?"

I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse.
What could I say to this? When my heart had cried out and the tears had flowed.
I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."

The Lord answered, "That is My Grace, My child."

I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do you love me so?"

The Lord answered, "Because you are My creation.
You are My child. I will never abandon you.
When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you.
When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you.
When you are down, I will encourage you.
When you fall, I will raise you up.
When you are tired, I will carry you.
I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever."

Never had I cried so hard before.
How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done?
I asked God, " How much do you love me?"

The Lord stretched out His arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands.
I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Savior.
And for the first time, I truly prayed.

my thoughts.. it's been a long time I have went to church.. it's been a long time since i spent time with God.. i really miss those days when i'm so involved in church.. being embraced in his arms.. feeling his presence every now and then.. hearing his voice guiding me through.. ever being so joyful having him in my life..

maybe i sinned too much which makes me drifted so far away from him.. i know God will forgives me if i were to repent sincerely.. but right now.. God pls forgive me for being stubborn. =x is it work or is it just me that lead me to what i am now? i wonder..
i just prayed that God you would still grant me favor and be there for me.. i miss you.

why do ppl think so much? why do ppl keep on expecting more and more..
with expectations.. there bound to have disappointment, cause human are not perfect..
i know that theory.. but i jus cant myself setting expectation.. cant help myself getting disappointed when my expectations was not met..
it's a good thing cause it means i'm hopeful.. and it's a bad thing cause i will just get upset again and again..
God, pls tell me what i should do.. how i wish life were more simple.. more peaceful.. more loving..

2008-07-29T11:43:00.002+08:00

no habit to blog in the night.. by the time i reach home last night it's already past 12 midnight.. and i would be super tired and sleepy by then.. zzzz

nearly end up not being able to meet manyun ytd cause i end up meeting her a lot later than i expect.. reason being xiao mei suddenly end up following me out hence i have to wait for her to be ready before i can go out. =x
Thank God i manage to persuade her to wait for me.. if not it's gonna get bad.

had our dinner @ Suntec Sakae Sushi.. =)) tried one of the fried sushi and it taste fabulous.. =p costly dinner but value for money.. lol..

next we catch a movie @ Eng wah cinema.. arguments between watching "X-Files" or "Red Cliff".. but in the end i lost.. so we end up watching "Red Cliff".. haha.. unexpectedly it was better than i have expected.. hehs. i'm so gonna watch part 2.. =D

I felt so blissful being with you now.. love flowing.. i love peace!!!
would this stay on forever..? how i wish, hope and pray so.. hehs.
i love you. <3

2008-07-26T18:55:00.004+08:00

have been rather busy and lazy to blog these days..

recent happenings!!!
went Sentosa with ShiQi... sadded though cause it's only the two of us. couldn't do much.. so we just end up slacking at the beach.. first stop we went to explore the siloso beach resort.. and we secretly went to the rooftop to catch the breeze. hehs. Next we went to palawan beach in search of bora bora pub.. lol. finally found it but we didn't went there to chill though.. haha.
Dinner was definitely sumptuous and filling.. =)

P.S. ShiQi.. Hope you enjoyed your day with me too.. Next year will be better! haha.. love ya!

pictures that we took @ Sentosa! =D

View that i took @ Siloso Beach Resort Rooftop.. =)

Our Delicious meal.. Pizza from Trapizza.. =D

2008-07-19T22:34:00.002+08:00

hehs. thanks everyone for their support and encouragements! =)

everything is over now.. sigh of relief.. felt much more relaxed now..
what's more? it's been a long long time since i've seen a rainbow! it was so so so beautiful. just love the sight of it. =)

today saw a blind man at the interchange.. and while he was trying to figured out his way to the entrance of the interchange.. so many ppl passed by him yet no one bother to help.. ZzZz.. i wanted to just walk over and help but as I was just about to board the bus.. I keep on looking at the blind man hoping someone would just go over and help him, but to no avail, everyone just walked pass him like they see nth.. aren't there anymore nice ppl i'm thinking. and i regretted not running over to help, to think i pin too much hope on ppl that out of so many of them passing by him surely one will help him but i was wrong.=x Still thankful though that when the blind man finally reached the entrance by his own, a teenage girl finally assisted him.

tini was sick at work today.. seeing how she actually hold on no matter how sick she is makes me feel that i'm so so so weak. =x i wonder what's wrong with me? why i always loathe going to work. all i think about was to enjoy life.. ZzZz..
gotta work hard!!!!

hope this would maintain forever.. wishful thoughts? =)

2008-07-06T21:11:00.002+08:00

guess i'm really stress up from work, study, and r/s..

feeling so tired and exhausted.. guess i really need a break... =x

i want a vacation!!!

just feel like posting this song lyrics today..

Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending

Oh Oh
So Much For My Happy Ending
Oh Oh
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do [CD version]
All the stuff that you do [radio edited version]

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

[x2]
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

2008-07-05T21:56:00.003+08:00

early morning rushed to work.. had my last good bye to him.. ='(

just suddenly feel so stress up at work.. today is a busy day at work.. i even agitated tini...
feeling so unwell.. i don't know if i should work tml.. i was suppose to work full shift.. =X
thank God work didn't drag till later..

meet up with PeiSi at orchard. thanks for accompanying me to eat first.
sorry to pull you down to watch a bad movie.. "the stranger" don't even know what the story is talking about.. and it just end without a conclusion of what happened.. ZzZz. waste my money! =(
felt so tired and exhausted after the movie so i suggested going home to rest instead. movie ended early.. and we were supposed to wait for the rest who is watching "hancock" for dinner. but when our movie ended, they just went in to watch their movie.. zzz.. sorry can't join you guys for dinner.
silly pei si as always keep on doing silly things. lol. thanks for being there for me.. really appreciate it! =)))

really jus feel like staying at home these days.. just want to enclose myself at home..

2008-07-05T21:42:00.004+08:00

=((((

suddenly just not feeling so well today. my head just feels heavy.. i feel like i'm getting sick any moment.. love sick perhaps?

as time goes by.. more problem surfaced.. i don't know what's the root of the problem. communication perhaps? =x ur temper makes me fear to talk to you.. every time i say something u dislike hearing or so.. u wouldn't even be patience to listen to my whole story and got agitated. x
i know you are stressed up about what you should do.. that's why I always tell myself to forget about it and tolerate..

finally i have set my mind to do something.. i really hate doing this but i can't think of anything else to solve our current problem.. u really need time to think about it i guess..
i jus miss you so now.. always on my mind.. really wanted to end this 'cool down period' soon..
but i keep telling myself no no no i must stay firm and give him time to think about it..

nth amaze or even amuse me but you..

i should stay strong..

really dislike working.. maybe i jus dun like my current job.. so many expectations to reach.. i'm jus exhausted.. is that any easy job to earn money?
every time at work.. time seems to pass so so so slow. i wonder why..

hmm.. God is not that i want to drift apart from you.. but i just don't understand her actions.. it makes me feel negative about it.. i really hope i'm able to get refresh once again.. may you hear my prayers.. God bless..

i just can't stop myself in missing you..

2008-06-29T12:08:00.002+08:00

Life is tiring these days.
i'm afraid i would fall sick having so many things to do these days.. =x

Study, FYP project, Work, Friends, and him.. not much time left with family.. =Z

still having the thought of letting go..

nowadays keep on seeing couples being so lovey dovey, and i jus ponder why can't we still be that loving? i have ever become so insignificant to you..
just ytd you said have or without doesn't make much difference to me but to me it does..
it sounds like you are indispensable to me.. i think likewise..

fyp; i'm gonna get it done in 3 weeks time! now we are still half way thru.. =XXX

work; i got to work at least 22hrs a week.. no more weekends to have fun.. no time to attend church service.. =X

friends & family; bugging me to spare more time for them..

these are the three main concerns for me now.. i need encouragement! definitely not scolding or any demoralizations! cause those negative things doesnt work on me. it will jus makes me feel worst.. Thanks in advance!

P.S. xiao yuan stop bullying me and calling me boon keng. it sound so bad.
P.S. idiotic keith stop disturbing me with ur nonsense theory.
P.S. Shi Qi Jia You!!!
P.S. God pls be graceful to me.. =x God bless..

2008-06-19T00:20:00.006+08:00

had a sicky day ytd.. was down with fever.. =x

today felt better but it seems like my body keep on having prob.. zzzz.. tummy ache..

hmm.. was really piss off by someone today! arrgh.. it's like that person my friend is taking me for granted? treating me like stupid? arrgh the more i work with "", the more i detest "".. =Z
i really hope i can just dsjnfjsndfk "" out! God bless.. may "" get what "" deserved!
i have been so much grace yet the more grace i give the more stupid i feel "" is treating me..

kevin mentioned who wants dog to my grp.. when i have decided that i want it.. he didnt even intend to give it to me.. wth? i was like forget it then.. and he was like giving me stupid excuses why he don't want to give it me to? saying i was irresponsible etc.. ZzZz.. whatever k? i can get it myself.. no big deal.
just volunteer to take care of it but u rejected it.. fine!

work was as tiring as usual..
getting tease by my colleague laudren of my name.. arrgh.. lol..
thank God he didnt release me too late.. was afraid i have to end up taking cab home..

anyway i'm so d*** pissed off by someone! arrgh.. "" jus sucks..

though i had a bad day.. but in between still had some enjoyable time..

Rina, Me & Half of Shiqi. lolx

My cute little flappy! =p

The day before..

Isabel, Ronald & Uncle.. =) See the big and juicy rib?

2008-06-16T05:44:00.003+08:00

oh man.. i jus happened to find this song which i'm looking for.. this best explains what i'm feeling and trying to tell you... =)

Only Love..
2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me

But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust

Chorus
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our last good-bye

2008-06-16T05:34:00.001+08:00

Chen Wei Lian - I Love You

i love you
所以只能说声对不起
任何藉口都没有

i love you
已来不及好好去珍惜
后悔很多

不该让你无辜流下失措的泪
心碎认识你陌生的世界
空气中回荡的笑语早已经断绝
多想能在和你梦里爱多一次

很沉重看你走着每一步
它应该是幸福的路
狠心推开你
像你离得无反顾

你身上纹着我给你的笑
对我绝美的惩罚
想问已无法
原来曾经拥有过
还比失去痛苦

i love you
对你的挚爱从不曾改变
要你快乐

i love you
好想对你说却来不及
后悔已太多

不该让你无辜流下失措的泪
心碎认识你陌生的世界
空气中回荡的笑语早已经断绝
多想能在和你梦里爱多一次

很沉重看你走着每一步
它应该是幸福的路
狠心推开你
是挽不回的错误

你心上纹着我给你的笑
对我绝美的惩罚
想问我无法
原来曾经拥有过
远比失去痛苦

我身上永远烙着你的笑
那么绝美的惩罚
想问我无法
原来曾经拥有过
还比失去痛苦

2008-06-16T05:13:00.002+08:00

dear Lord.. i'm sorry.. i will keep to my promise.. just give me time..

right now.. all i need is time..

i thought it was all fated for it to happened..
if i didnt accept you and love you we wouldn't have walk till so far..
if i didnt accept you.. we wouldnt even be friends now not to even think about having future..
to me i accept it as fate being with you.. i accepted it..
maybe that's why i can't bear to let go..
all jus happens for a reason..

in the past i always wonder why i would accept you.. and surprisingly to be loving you so..
i guess my friends are surprised too.. cause in the past you are just not the type i would accept and not to even say being so in love with you..
surprisingly everything just seems to go according to your plan..
i trying to accept your goodness towards me..
telling myself you would be good to me.. no worries.. i shouldnt let you down..
end up i put too much of my heart into it..
just want you to know.. i love you that's why i'm with you..
saranghae..

sometimes i thought the pain i'm receiving is because God is punishing me..
silly thoughts huh? but who knows..?

minds filled with confusions.. puzzled why this and that happen..
in search of reasons why all these is happening to me..
i get to learn that loving someone is tiring too..
ZzZz..

refreshing all the good times may jus take away my pain perhaps..

p.s. thanks MY for being there for me.. =')

2008-05-31T19:01:00.006+08:00

once again updates of recent pictures that i took.. =)

This cute little thing is created out of my boredom after having my dinner..
It's been a long time since i have taken a group picture with a team.. ^^ Rainbow Group!
Sunny, Windy, Rainy, Cloudy, Stormy... lol

Sentosa outing with my dearest friend.. =) 29th May 2008

always enjoyed your company.. hehs.

this cat suddenly pop up beside me while i was resting at the bball court.. =p
a cute pose that it posed for me.. lolx.. it seems to know i'm taking pic of it..

everything has ended.. to be continued? or the end? we shall see..
right now we're just friend..

hate living in confusion.. zzzz

2008-05-25T23:26:00.005+08:00

had a tiring night skating ytd.. slept till really late that after all my preparation it was really late to go for church service. so in the end i didn't go. sorry joy.=x

managed to stay at home and accompany my parents to play mahjong. hehs.
sadly i lost to my dad! lolx.. he's the noob among us yet he won the most. lolx. pure luck? or beginner's luck? =D

in the night.. had dinner with billy, ah tan and ah seng @ Expo the food fair.
we bought lots of food.. it was much better than i thought. buying all the food that i like to eat.. and i manage to eat all of it though.. hehs. feeling so full now. the crabs that we bought was really cheap. it's like 3 for $10? lolx. and we were lucky to find a place to sit down and enjoy our dinner.. all thanks to carlsberg.. lolx. we have to buy a beer before we can actually use the space there.

this are the pictures that we took.. =)

i'm still feeling kinda confuse.. though i clearly know what you meant. but..
maybe it's because that fact is that i still have to let you go which i don't bear to.
i think so much of the negative sides that it jus scares me.. i know perhaps that's the best solution for u now..
just give me time to accept it..
just give me time to let you go..
just ytd i was wondering did i fall in love with a guy i shouldn't have?
but today i felt maybe i was wrong to think of that.. cause maybe it's just that i fall in love with the guy at the wrong time?

but thinking again.. maybe it's all jus fated..

can't wait to see what will happen in the future..

2008-05-25T03:44:00.003+08:00

had a tiring night skating at ECP with my sis and her friend. it was cooling.. yet really tiring..

had a great night chatting by the beach side..

at that point of time.. i wish you were there..

ZzZz..

God pls be merciful to the world.. World peace..

God bless..

2008-05-25T03:37:00.003+08:00

我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见
只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过..

ifallinlovewithsomeoneishouldnthave..

sometimes i just cant bear to let you go..

thinking of the great time we once had..
you accompanying me to church..
bringing me to places that i yearns to go..
taking good care of me etc..

i really miss those good days and just hope that we will be like the past once again..

i miss you so.

2008-05-23T13:51:00.003+08:00

hmm.. this is what i have to go through to become stronger? another failure in r/s that is?

it was yet another bad day for me.. feeling moody once again.. pms. =x feeling unwell..

i want to lead my life back.. butz.. i don't know where to start from.. i'm just getting more and more confuse.. hmm.. time will solve it for me i guess.. God bless..

P.S. seriously i know you are a great guy and can be a great guy.. jus that you choose to treat me badly these days? and it just makes me wonder why. you trying to treat me badly so that i'll leave you? yet you said you love me and i can vividly feel it. you just make me so confuse.

2008-05-22T12:55:00.003+08:00

yesterday was a mahjong day i guesS?

at first went to Alicia's hse to play.. and i thank God i only lose $2.. lolx

after which.. as it's cheng xun's mum birthday ytd, we then went to cheng xun's hse to accompany his mum play mahjong.. as usual i don't know why i jus don't like playing with him. =x ZzZz.. it's like he's always against me especially? maybe i'm jus thinking too much..

yea i'm so piss of right now. i don't know why all of the sudden you start shooting me of all the bad points about me while i'm playing mj.. u said you are telling me all this because of my good.. wanting me to change for the better.. to me i feel that u're just bullshitting cause the way you said it totally sucks.. the way you want someone to listen to you and accept the bad points is totally wrong.. cause you didn't first stand in their shoes to understand why they did that even though their actions may be wrong. if you were to at least stand in my shoes and then say me at least i would be more than willing to listen.. ZzZz.. asdfjnasjfnkjasnfjaasfj
last but no least no one is perfect.. you too..

so much to say but i couldn't say out.. cause you never tries to understand me.. no matter what i say i'm always wrong and you're always right. i can seriously feel you dun understand who i really am.. or maybe you are always trying to correct me this and that and never praise me of my good before..?

i'm feeling so exhausted.. feeling so down.. it's like everything is going against me..

bad time i guess...

maybe we really aren't meant to be..

2008-05-21T00:40:00.003+08:00

it was definitely a exhausted day for me.. it had been a long time since i feel so much stress doing work. =x

skipped lesson half way through and went to meet shiqi for FYP.. do do do.. till Rina and Kevin came.. and even after they left both of us still doing.. till nearly 9pm. =x

*tired*

2008-05-15T15:41:00.004+08:00

hehs. somehow it feels like everything finally "yu guo tian qian"; everything back to normal or rather the bad events is finally over and done with.

enjoying my life now. =)
ytd had a outing with my bestie; manyun..
we went shopping at vivo, walked rounds and rounds.. i could say it's been a long long time since i went shopping cause i don't really like to shop when i don't have much cash on hand.
however, since my bestie requested i guess i will just have to go along with it. =p i even end up getting a gift from her; she bought me a top. hehs. thanks girl. loves.
after which, we went to catch the movie called "Nim's Island". it was pretty nice and especially adventurous. i would rate it 4 stars?

in the night, played mahjong at home with keith, faith and her friend, and poor keith and my sis's friend.. they keep on losing for the first few rounds. lolx. =p keith lose the most though.
more programs? we watched midnight movie in my room. haha. last man standing would be me and keith. and surprisingly keith decided to stay at my hse. in the past, many times i asked him to stay he always never fail to refuse and be the first to go home.

another good things that happened to me recently would be my elder sis bought me a o.d.m watch! weee.. i totally loves it! haha. that's really so cool. thanks hilary! ^^

currently everything seems to be going on well.. hope it prolongs. <3

2008-05-14T10:46:00.002+08:00

it was a rainy day for me ytd.

i was sad because i'm not the one you truely love..
i was sad because i'm not the one for you..
i was sad because i feel unwanted..

however,

i'm thankful for the chance you gave.

God show me the way.. what should i do?

thanks jody for being there for me. i really don't know what to do if you're not there for me. i really felt so much better with you around. =) thanks for all the encouragement. loves.

i jus don't understand why am i so soft hearted..
it makes me feel so silly at times.

tears rolled down uncontrollably the moment you said you said don't bother me.

my heart hurts that badly that i feel like i'm suffocating inside.. i thought i was going to die.

sometimes i just hope you will accept and love me for who i am.

2008-05-09T23:53:00.004+08:00

it was a so so day for me. woke up early unexpectedly. somehow. =x the day before i fall asleep really early.. managed to sleep for 9 -10 hrs before i wake up. even so i still feel tired.

finally i was early to class.. and finally i was able to get a good location to settle down in class. hehs. however today lesson is really really boring.. bored to the extend it just makes everyone really sleepy and some even fall asleep. stupid vic keep on tryin to make me slp.. duno wanna sabo me or what? lolx.

fyp as usual me and shiqi last girls standing. lolx. Rina got to go off as she had a wedding to attend. and kevin unexpectedly didn't even call or pick up my call.. last min telling me he can't make it as he had to attend his friend birthday party. that was so last min? before his ut i even remind him that we'll have a short meeting today yet he didn't even tried to come for it. filled with disappointment. i really trusted him so. yet he end up being so irresponsible. hope i was wrong abt him. =(

meet up with keith for dinner @ MOS..
afterwhich we meet cz and joy to play bball. the court was fully utilize. one side pro the other side got a team training bball. zzz.
we then suggested to go another bball at 'catholic high'.. prob is we dun have bball. so as to solve our prob, keith bought a converse bball and saved our day! lolx. thank God there's a space for us to play. we had fun though i gotten a lot of physical pain. legs filled with blisters. ZzZz. and i think i played kinda rough today. hehs. sorry guys.

today come upon this quote.. "Obstacles don't have to stop you.. when you run into a wall, dun just turn around and give up, think of ways to climb over it, or think of ideas to work it through" - Michael Jordan

sometimes i wonder.. is it that hard to find a guy to give me all the care and love he could?
living in deception.. one day i'll get out of it.. probably till the day when i found the one.

2008-05-05T14:52:00.002+08:00

if(Less quarrel & less meeting == more loving){
System.out.println("Happily Ever After <3" };

else {
System.out.println(" THE END ");

lolx.

again. i didn't manage to attend service on sun..
reason: billy got so many things to get done before he leaves his hse. End up meeting me late. ZzZ
as usual he still doesn't like to go FCBC. =X
played mj and lose $20++ to Alicia.. =(((

lesson is really boring today.. clueless to what i should do. simple yet complex..
ZzZz..

2008-05-02T19:53:00.003+08:00

it was a niightmare even before my day starts. i had a bad dream and guess it was a bad omen.

so true that bad things just starts rolling in early in the morning just when i reached sch.
i was running late for lessons, only left 30 mins to eat and gotta be back before i was late for my next meeting again. yet he still wants to go the furthest canteen from my block to eat just to meet his friends. while on our way to sch i even told him we're running late dun think can meet his friend for breakfast, he says ok. the next moment he denied saying it. ZzZz..
there goes my day having a tiff with my bf. =X we just ended up getting more and more angry with one another..
second break got a preach session from him. and i admit cause of him i ended up neglecting my family.. =(

the day didn't goes that bad though. actually didn't have the mood to attend lesson. but thinking again I felt that it's not worth so i changed my mind. glad that i go though. =)

FYP meeting was canceled.. three of them had sth on.. so yea it was being postponed in the end.

bless..

2008-04-30T23:03:00.002+08:00

suddenly just sick of everything around me... though it's not the worst that i can expect but it just makes me feel so sick of it.

cause of FYP meeting in the morning, I couldn't sleep well afraid that I'll over slept. =x
.. and in the end, i trusted the wrong person.. to think i thought he would do work and not slack, but now he gives so much excuses just to excuse himself from meeting. we were so understanding towards him, letting him leave early when he says he's not feeling well, and now he's overdoing it. zzz. first three meetings; sick leave early, last two meetings; didn't even make it for meeting due to some last min thingy.
i really do not know how to handle this situation. anyone any ideas?

didn't have the mood to go out as there were a lot of problems occurred for our project. don't know how i could solve it too.. gotta work harder! someone boost me with power!
May God empower me!

didn't really feel so down till i find out that he actually went out for dinner with his friends instead of his family.. planning for a movie with his friend the next day.. Zzzz. you may be thinking what's wrong with it?
maybe not for you but for me it's like he didn't even take the initiative to meet me even for a meal or a movie but there he is going to meet his friends doing all those things.. he said he dun like meeting everyday, ok then, and there he is meeting his friend everyday.
to me it's totally unfairness.
to him maybe it's normal. what's wrong with hanging out with friends everyday?
i'm totally speechless..
i really hope to leave all this mess that i've foolishly fall into. i want to start a new life without getting hurt by ppl.
God help me?

sometimes i just hope i doesn't exist.

2008-04-29T21:13:00.002+08:00

had a great day today with my team mates. especially loads of laughter today. hehs. we had a great deal of funny jokes and actions, in addition the we got 'sunny' who further entertain us. lolx. stupid alvin for being mourning to become leader and khai for helping him when he's also one of us who voted alvin to become ldr.. zzzz. =p

however happy hours don't last long. spent hrs sitting at IT helpdesk fixing my com, finally they solved my run advertised program after 2 hrs. lucky they managed to fix it if not I will be like a fool sitting there getting nth done in the end. after which went to meet billy.

Supposingly planned to go gym with him today, but it still seems like he didnt want me to go. though i told him i will be going gym with him, he will push the topics away saying aren't u going home instead? zzz end up he jus take it that i'm not going with him.
dun understand why he have to meet that girl after sch everyday. seriously dun like her character. though she didn't do anything that harm me. but it's just that her actions and character just makes me dislike her unknowingly.. scold vulgar and seems rather materialistic plus she's not really friendly towards girls? every time i see her i will end up giving billy black face. she jus have the power to make me upset or piss off easily. =Z

sometimes i wonder have you ever truly love me? though u may claim that you love me but how true and deep is your love? how deep can your love be when you actually give up so easily in relationship? i really wonder? =X

2008-04-29T00:57:00.005+08:00

life is so so so busy as usual. FYP, Lessons, Hanging out with friends, date with boyfriends etc. so packed till I can't even find slots to work now. totally broke! =X

lazed at billy's hse today as he didn't want to wake up for lesson. reason: very tired
kinda regret playing till so late last night. =z
till now i've skipped 3 lessons.. bad omen! i don't wanna continue this man.
studied for ut, in the end, cause billy dilly dally end up i reaching at at 4.15pm. (UT starts at 4.15pm sharp) what's worst is that I didn't know I have to download the new UT client. zzzz
took 15 mins to download and install it into my com. sob sob. end up i only have 10 mins to do my test. sure score beri badly. ppl write 10 lines ratio i only write 2 lines.

**W6 lvl 1 canteen is finally officially opened! =))**

meet billy and his friend after my UT. was feeling rather down since before that i met so many mishap. =( i didn't mean to show them my black face.. however i got really pissed off with one of the girl actions. it jus disgust me. =Z
went off to find cheng xun and alicia first.. chit chat. then unexpectedly cheng xun mentioned about treatin us bubble tea. seizing the opportunity we went to buy it asap before he changes his mind. lol. but after he bought it for us, he kinda regret it in a joking manner. =p

hitch a ride from billy's car.. actually i didnt want so, cause suddenly he need to fetch so many of his friend. moreover that girl that i dislike is there. but so as to give face to billy i just take the ride. =x
took mrt to cityhall.. brought cheng xun and alicia to Marina chapter 2 to cut their hair. =) the hair stylist is as cute as before. haha. got influenced by my sis.. she admire him too haha.
during haircut, cheng xun looked so serious.. till i thought he's not happy with the hair stylist. lol. as for alicia. she look so cute during the whole process.. Lol.

after haircut, they accompanied me home to pack my clothes cause me and alicia will be going CX's hse to study and stay over.
Had a sumptuous yummy dinner! hehs. after which i enjoyed and relax by watchin tv shows. haha i sure know how to enjoy life. =p

After Cheng xun hair cut. lolx.

Alicia new hair look! cute bah?! lolx

tired now.. it's already so late le. shall upload a few recents pictures that i took these days. =)

Joy & me. =D
oh ya. just yesterday i met a car accident. a minor one though. but it's really costly! need to compensate $1000++ which also includes repairing your own car which hit on others. lol. learnt to drive safely! if not there goes ur money. haha.
here's one picture of our car and the victim car.. our car looks more damaged compared to the victim's one. and he demand to change his bumper! ZzZz

Our Car..

Victim's Car..

Billy & Me. He's so idiot dun wanna look at the cam. =X