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saw this interesting post from ashley aka mei yean.. =)
from an email.. and it goes like this...

One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise.
Ah the beauty of God's creation is beyond description.
As I watched, I praised the God for His beautiful work.
As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me.
He asked me, "Do you love me?"
I answered, "Of course, God! You are my Lord and Savior!"

Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?"

I was perplexed, "It would be tough Lord, but I would still love you."

Then the Lord said, " If you were blind, would you still love my creation?"

How could I love something without being able to see it?
Then I thought of all the blind people
in the world and how many of them still loved God and his creation.

So I answered," It's hard to think of it, but I would still love you."

The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my Lord?"

How could I listen to anything being deaf?
Then I understood.
Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts.

I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your Word."

The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?"

How could I praise without a voice?
Then it occurred to me: God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul.
It never matters what we sound like.
And praising God is not always with a song,
but when we are persecuted,
we give God praise with our words of thanks.

So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."

And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?"

With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly.
"Yes Lord! I love You because You are the One and true God!"

I thought I had answered well, but God asked, "THEN WHY DO YOU SIN?"

I answered, " Because I am only human. I am not perfect."

"THEN WHY IN TIMES OF PEACE DO YOU STRAY THE FURTHEST?
WHY ONLY IN TIMES OF TROUBLE DO YOU PRAY THE EARNEST?"

No answers. Only tears.

The Lord continued to roll down my cheeks.

"Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news?
Why in times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on?
Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"

I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.

"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away.
I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away.
I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge.
I have spoken to you but your ears were closed.
I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away.
I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away.
I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all."

"DO YOU TRULY LOVE ME?"

I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse.
What could I say to this? When my heart had cried out and the tears had flowed.
I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."

The Lord answered, "That is My Grace, My child."

I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do you love me so?"

The Lord answered, "Because you are My creation.
You are My child. I will never abandon you.
When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you.
When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you.
When you are down, I will encourage you.
When you fall, I will raise you up.
When you are tired, I will carry you.
I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever."

Never had I cried so hard before.
How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done?
I asked God, " How much do you love me?"

The Lord stretched out His arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands.
I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Savior.
And for the first time, I truly prayed.

my thoughts.. it's been a long time I have went to church.. it's been a long time since i spent time with God.. i really miss those days when i'm so involved in church.. being embraced in his arms.. feeling his presence every now and then.. hearing his voice guiding me through.. ever being so joyful having him in my life..

maybe i sinned too much which makes me drifted so far away from him.. i know God will forgives me if i were to repent sincerely.. but right now.. God pls forgive me for being stubborn. =x is it work or is it just me that lead me to what i am now? i wonder..
i just prayed that God you would still grant me favor and be there for me.. i miss you.


why do ppl think so much? why do ppl keep on expecting more and more..
with expectations.. there bound to have disappointment, cause human are not perfect..
i know that theory.. but i jus cant myself setting expectation.. cant help myself getting disappointed when my expectations was not met..
it's a good thing cause it means i'm hopeful.. and it's a bad thing cause i will just get upset again and again..
God, pls tell me what i should do.. how i wish life were more simple.. more peaceful.. more loving..

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no habit to blog in the night.. by the time i reach home last night it's already past 12 midnight.. and i would be super tired and sleepy by then.. zzzz

nearly end up not being able to meet manyun ytd cause i end up meeting her a lot later than i expect.. reason being xiao mei suddenly end up following me out hence i have to wait for her to be ready before i can go out. =x
Thank God i manage to persuade her to wait for me.. if not it's gonna get bad.

had our dinner @ Suntec Sakae Sushi.. =)) tried one of the fried sushi and it taste fabulous.. =p costly dinner but value for money.. lol..

next we catch a movie @ Eng wah cinema.. arguments between watching "X-Files" or "Red Cliff".. but in the end i lost.. so we end up watching "Red Cliff".. haha.. unexpectedly it was better than i have expected.. hehs. i'm so gonna watch part 2.. =D




I felt so blissful being with you now.. love flowing.. i love peace!!!
would this stay on forever..? how i wish, hope and pray so.. hehs.
i love you. <3

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have been rather busy and lazy to blog these days..

recent happenings!!!
went Sentosa with ShiQi... sadded though cause it's only the two of us. couldn't do much.. so we just end up slacking at the beach.. first stop we went to explore the siloso beach resort.. and we secretly went to the rooftop to catch the breeze. hehs. Next we went to palawan beach in search of bora bora pub.. lol. finally found it but we didn't went there to chill though.. haha.
Dinner was definitely sumptuous and filling.. =)

P.S. ShiQi.. Hope you enjoyed your day with me too.. Next year will be better! haha.. love ya!

pictures that we took @ Sentosa! =D

View that i took @ Siloso Beach Resort Rooftop.. =)




Our Delicious meal.. Pizza from Trapizza.. =D

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hehs. thanks everyone for their support and encouragements! =)

everything is over now.. sigh of relief.. felt much more relaxed now..
what's more? it's been a long long time since i've seen a rainbow! it was so so so beautiful. just love the sight of it. =)

today saw a blind man at the interchange.. and while he was trying to figured out his way to the entrance of the interchange.. so many ppl passed by him yet no one bother to help.. ZzZz.. i wanted to just walk over and help but as I was just about to board the bus.. I keep on looking at the blind man hoping someone would just go over and help him, but to no avail, everyone just walked pass him like they see nth.. aren't there anymore nice ppl i'm thinking. and i regretted not running over to help, to think i pin too much hope on ppl that out of so many of them passing by him surely one will help him but i was wrong.=x Still thankful though that when the blind man finally reached the entrance by his own, a teenage girl finally assisted him.

tini was sick at work today.. seeing how she actually hold on no matter how sick she is makes me feel that i'm so so so weak. =x i wonder what's wrong with me? why i always loathe going to work. all i think about was to enjoy life.. ZzZz..
gotta work hard!!!!

hope this would maintain forever.. wishful thoughts? =)

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guess i'm really stress up from work, study, and r/s..

feeling so tired and exhausted.. guess i really need a break... =x

i want a vacation!!!

just feel like posting this song lyrics today..


Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending

Oh Oh
So Much For My Happy Ending
Oh Oh
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do [CD version]
All the stuff that you do [radio edited version]

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

[Chorus x2]

[x2]
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

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early morning rushed to work.. had my last good bye to him.. ='(

just suddenly feel so stress up at work.. today is a busy day at work.. i even agitated tini...
feeling so unwell.. i don't know if i should work tml.. i was suppose to work full shift.. =X
thank God work didn't drag till later..

meet up with PeiSi at orchard. thanks for accompanying me to eat first.
sorry to pull you down to watch a bad movie.. "the stranger" don't even know what the story is talking about.. and it just end without a conclusion of what happened.. ZzZz. waste my money! =(
felt so tired and exhausted after the movie so i suggested going home to rest instead. movie ended early.. and we were supposed to wait for the rest who is watching "hancock" for dinner. but when our movie ended, they just went in to watch their movie.. zzz.. sorry can't join you guys for dinner.
silly pei si as always keep on doing silly things. lol. thanks for being there for me.. really appreciate it! =)))

really jus feel like staying at home these days.. just want to enclose myself at home..

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=((((

suddenly just not feeling so well today. my head just feels heavy.. i feel like i'm getting sick any moment.. love sick perhaps?

as time goes by.. more problem surfaced.. i don't know what's the root of the problem. communication perhaps? =x ur temper makes me fear to talk to you.. every time i say something u dislike hearing or so.. u wouldn't even be patience to listen to my whole story and got agitated. x
i know you are stressed up about what you should do.. that's why I always tell myself to forget about it and tolerate..

finally i have set my mind to do something.. i really hate doing this but i can't think of anything else to solve our current problem.. u really need time to think about it i guess..
i jus miss you so now.. always on my mind.. really wanted to end this 'cool down period' soon..
but i keep telling myself no no no i must stay firm and give him time to think about it..

nth amaze or even amuse me but you..

i should stay strong..

really dislike working.. maybe i jus dun like my current job.. so many expectations to reach.. i'm jus exhausted.. is that any easy job to earn money?
every time at work.. time seems to pass so so so slow. i wonder why..

hmm.. God is not that i want to drift apart from you.. but i just don't understand her actions.. it makes me feel negative about it.. i really hope i'm able to get refresh once again.. may you hear my prayers.. God bless..

i just can't stop myself in missing you..