---

it all seems so real.. yet gone the next moment when i open my eyes..
somehow i hope that i'm living in that world...
deep in my heart i know clearly it was not possible..
really hope this would stop..
it jus pains me to see how close i am when i am actually so far from it..

---

had a great day skating at ECP with beloved. =)
it's been a long time since we went there to cycle and skate...
great workout. but both of us kinda end up in pain.
pain in his buttock.. pain in my ankle.. haha.

i'll consider..
the rest i'll leave it to fate..

our table no..

me and my beloved.. =)

him.

---

Life has been rather plain for me these days..
doing nth much.. watch tv.. surf the net.. play com games..
boring stuff. haha.

but now finally i have a breakthrough! =p
got a job and i think i would like it there.

soon i'll be stepping into working industry..
wonder how things would turn out to be... ....

is it just me or what?
ithoughtyouarelongforgottenbutwhydoyoustillappearinmydreams
maybeitjusdoesntmeananythingormaybeitdoesidunnoandimyselfarefindinganswerstoit.

Thank God for everything.. =)))

---

dream after dream.. she had been appearing in it.
and i still remember vividly that I hugged her tight when i get to see her in one of my dream.
i was really happy though it was just a dream.
it was as if my wish came true.
finally able to hug her once again.

i still misses her so much..
tears just kept on flowing out..
filled with so much regrets..
so much so much that no one would ever understands.

she had taught me so much stuff..
helping me whenever i needed help..
be it a listening ear or financial needs..
she nvr fails to be there for me..
but i didn't even get the chance to repay her..
it's so unfair.. so so unfair..
='(

but still i thank God for being gracious with her..
i know right now she doesn't have to endure all those pains that she's been suffering with..

i just blame myself for not acknowledging that it was not by pure luck that she survive that operation..
it was a second chance for her and for us.
but yet we were so naive, not cherishing it.
whatsoever. i know it's over.
but one thing for sure..
she would forever be in my <3.. forever.




P.S. Hope i get the job!!!

---

it's sad and disappointing when ppl just misunderstood ur intention..
did so much for them yet they were not even appreciative and thinks likewise of it..
i just felt kinda terrible when i think about i actually sacrifices not meeting my friends for their sake.
he said his grandma is going back to hometown soon and she actually wants to play mj while his parents is away.. so i had to make a decision to meet my friends or accompany his grandma play mj.. and i end up coming to a decision to accompany his grandma instead since we didnt really get to spend time with her while she was with us.
so then my plans were to play with them for the afternoon.
and while playing he's not even concentrating.. i tolerated and it just got worst.
he end up wanting to end the mj section earlier than i expected just because he wanted to play his game instead.
feeling guilty that i actually sacrifice my friends to spend time with him and his grandma.. of course i would want to make full use of the time playing with his grandma so that i wouldnt feel that i wasted that time for nth?
but he or they jus think likewise.. they thought i was addicted to mj since i'm like insisting to continue playing?

and it was really disappointing that i actually chose to spend time with his grandma and his grandma said things like she also dun want to play even though i told her that i was suppose to go out today but i chose to stay and play mj with them.. making it seems like its all one sided.. cause they are not even appreciating what i have done yet thinking i was actually too addicted to playing mj. =(

and what's worst was that after that matter.. when he mentions abt playing mj again, his grandma just counted me out.. das.

was wondering what wrong have i done to deserve such treatment from them?

guess its jus my fault for making the wrong judgment then..

i'm not trying to blame anyone as i can only blame myself for making that decision then..

---

i jus dun understand why is there such a guy like him?
so petty.. stingy.. not understanding.. always so calculative.. arrgh..
really had enough of it all. so pls jus freaking get out of my life.
i dun need a friend like u. yup.

anyway just went for a job interview ytd..
kinda unprepared when i went for the interview.
took quite a while before i finally find their office..
but thank God the interviewer were pretty friendly.
as it was a small company so it was the MD who actually interviewed me.
it wasn't that tense as i tot it would be as they made me feel rather comfortable with it.

hope to get a job soon!

---

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

---

Pictures of Billy's nephew.. he's so so cute.. ^^






what a day...

searching for my goal in life..

what job should i get???