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saw this interesting post from ashley aka mei yean.. =)
from an email.. and it goes like this...

One day, I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise.
Ah the beauty of God's creation is beyond description.
As I watched, I praised the God for His beautiful work.
As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me.
He asked me, "Do you love me?"
I answered, "Of course, God! You are my Lord and Savior!"

Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?"

I was perplexed, "It would be tough Lord, but I would still love you."

Then the Lord said, " If you were blind, would you still love my creation?"

How could I love something without being able to see it?
Then I thought of all the blind people
in the world and how many of them still loved God and his creation.

So I answered," It's hard to think of it, but I would still love you."

The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my Lord?"

How could I listen to anything being deaf?
Then I understood.
Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts.

I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your Word."

The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?"

How could I praise without a voice?
Then it occurred to me: God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul.
It never matters what we sound like.
And praising God is not always with a song,
but when we are persecuted,
we give God praise with our words of thanks.

So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."

And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?"

With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly.
"Yes Lord! I love You because You are the One and true God!"

I thought I had answered well, but God asked, "THEN WHY DO YOU SIN?"

I answered, " Because I am only human. I am not perfect."

"THEN WHY IN TIMES OF PEACE DO YOU STRAY THE FURTHEST?
WHY ONLY IN TIMES OF TROUBLE DO YOU PRAY THE EARNEST?"

No answers. Only tears.

The Lord continued to roll down my cheeks.

"Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news?
Why in times of persecution, you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on?
Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"

I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.

"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away.
I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away.
I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge.
I have spoken to you but your ears were closed.
I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away.
I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away.
I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all."

"DO YOU TRULY LOVE ME?"

I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse.
What could I say to this? When my heart had cried out and the tears had flowed.
I said, "Please forgive me Lord. I am unworthy to be Your child."

The Lord answered, "That is My Grace, My child."

I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do you love me so?"

The Lord answered, "Because you are My creation.
You are My child. I will never abandon you.
When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you.
When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you.
When you are down, I will encourage you.
When you fall, I will raise you up.
When you are tired, I will carry you.
I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever."

Never had I cried so hard before.
How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done?
I asked God, " How much do you love me?"

The Lord stretched out His arms, and I saw His nail-pierced hands.
I bowed down at the feet of Christ, my Savior.
And for the first time, I truly prayed.

my thoughts.. it's been a long time I have went to church.. it's been a long time since i spent time with God.. i really miss those days when i'm so involved in church.. being embraced in his arms.. feeling his presence every now and then.. hearing his voice guiding me through.. ever being so joyful having him in my life..

maybe i sinned too much which makes me drifted so far away from him.. i know God will forgives me if i were to repent sincerely.. but right now.. God pls forgive me for being stubborn. =x is it work or is it just me that lead me to what i am now? i wonder..
i just prayed that God you would still grant me favor and be there for me.. i miss you.


why do ppl think so much? why do ppl keep on expecting more and more..
with expectations.. there bound to have disappointment, cause human are not perfect..
i know that theory.. but i jus cant myself setting expectation.. cant help myself getting disappointed when my expectations was not met..
it's a good thing cause it means i'm hopeful.. and it's a bad thing cause i will just get upset again and again..
God, pls tell me what i should do.. how i wish life were more simple.. more peaceful.. more loving..