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things just went tumbling down from the moment bb decided to go drinking last night. and it seriously couldn't get any worst. *SIGH*
just right after i accept the fact that i have to stay home once again while he goes out drinking.. i end up getting into trouble.
was totally piss and upset plus my pms it just worsen my emotions.
series of bad things just happened one after another..
just after my call with Jennifer, i was trying to get back in to bb's hse.. I then signal bb's youngest brother Randall to open the door for me.. from the window to waiting at the door. Did it several time and each time he just look at me not even moving a inch to come open the door for me. In the end I have to knock onto the window to catch some other ppl attention so as to open the door for me. ZzZ. In the living room there were bb's mum, Randall, Leo and one of bb's relative. After i finally get into the hse, i was really piss with Randall and went straight to asking him why didn't he open the door for me after i asked him to do so several times? .. and in the first place i was already upset with bb and now even his brother have to play such a prank on me.
his mum then asked why and i just told her i actually told Randall to open the door for me but he failed to do so.. after which i just walked off back to bb's room. and because of this i got into big time trouble!
got scolded really bad by bb and he even told me to pack my bag and leave his hse if i'm not happy in the hse. i was like wth? his mum actually scolded him saying i was being rude to her.. and i was like recalling how can the situation from Randall not opening the door for me to me being rude to bb's mum. and bb told me it's because i was giving a really black face while i was at the living room and his relative was asking the mum why i'm giving such a bad attitude. -.-||| how to be happy when her big son upset me and his youngest son end up upsetting me even further? and they actually expect me to be smiling gracefully at them when i walked into the living room while i was feeling really terrible inside. how fake can that be and that's totally not my style?! i end up crying bitterly with no place to hide my sadness as all the room is taken up. was really prepared to leave the hse as i do not wish to tolerate any more of this nonsense.
Got comforted by Jennifer.. and i received yet another call from bb comforting me nicely telling me to bear with the elderly being tradition and stuff. i gave in but i still felt the whole matter unjust as they still blame me for being rude. =x but i know it's impossible to ask them to understand that i was having a really bad night which was why my facial expression was 'black' and not because i want to be rude to them. *sigh*

just when i was still digesting the unjust situation last night, yet another bad thing happened to me. this time round i accidentally spilled a soya milk pearl tea while moving to the back of the car; the bag that i was carrying somehow pulled the drink out of the drink holder while i was moving to the back.. needless to say.. the mum got really mad when i spilled the drink and was nagging continuously.. in the meantime i was in a state of shock thinking i was in deep trouble again for spilling the drink.. why was it me?! i tried to clean up the mess feeling even terrible and at that moment i really wish to just call a cab instead to go to the train station and not trouble the mum any further. but it didn't happened as i just get back into the car waiting for the worst. bb's mum just kept on asking why and how did it happened and was really upset over the spill.. bb's couldn't take his mum nagging end up quarreling with her and i just kept quiet hoping the whole thing will just subside soon. i know i was wrong but i didn't get to apologize. .

mentally i seriously hope someone will understand where I'm coming from and say it's alright i understand.. it's like if i didn't cried bitterly because of the mum complaining me being rude to her when i didn't even have the intention of it.. i probably would apologize when i was given the chance to. but deep inside i felt so bitter that i just couldn't say sorry when there's a chance.
pls don't misunderstand me though, i know I'm wrong still just that i probably need time to digest my bitterness first!

i miss my home when my mum is still around. home is still the best.


currently having vacation at Malaysia, Segamat before setting off to Genting Highland!

cramps cramps go away!